I wish Joe Biden was younger

Breezing through all the likely media sources Thursday morning while chugging black coffee and wiping the disgust from my eyes, I came across no less than five stories prominently dedicated to President Joe Biden’s age. I guess there’s not a whole lot else going on in this country that merits such big-time attention …

Two of the stories I read had to do with a much-ballyhooed Wall Street Journal poll, that trumpeted 73 percent of Americans think the 80-year-old Biden “is too old to run for president.”

This followed subsequent stories referencing an Associated Press poll 10 days ago that tabulated 77 percent of all respondents thought the man was “too old to effectively serve” another four-year term. What’s more, 69 percent of Democrats in this poll allegedly felt this way.

I am usually not much for polls. I think they are becoming an out-of-control cancer spreading across the political landscape, but I’ll grudgingly admit the above two at least somewhat collide with my thinking. You can count me in as among those who will go as far as wishing Biden was younger. In fact, I bet nobody wishes Biden was younger any more than Joe Biden himself.

Is his age disqualifying to remain the President of the United States? Of course not. Will he be the Democratic nominee for president in 2024? Of course he will.

This is not news.

In fact, in some unofficial polling I conducted in the last day or so, nearly all the people I talked to said they wished Biden wasn’t so old. They also said they planned to eagerly vote for him again.

Yes, I wish Joe Biden was younger, but on a list of things that concern me heading into the most consequential election of our lives in 2024, this concern doesn’t even make my first, second or third page.

So, yes, I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that Republicans would keep their fat, grubby hands off the women in my country, mind their own damn business, and try to comport themselves with the respect and manners their daughters deserve.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that Republicans would, for once, stand up for our right to vote by knocking down the barriers they have erected to intentionally disenfranchise millions of people from exercising their most basic Democratic right.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that the ghastly, orange, convicted rapist and wannabe fascist, who attempted to stop our peaceful transfer of power, assaulted our country, aided in the killing and wounding of law enforcement officers, and then did nothing to stop the attack for hours — even after being begged to do so by his repulsive family — would be locked away in jail already.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that the Republican Party would call out the anti-American slob’s Big Lie, and tell all of America what they damn well know to be true: that Joe Biden won the 2020 Presidential Election by more than seven million votes.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that the Republic Party would apologize for supporting this ill-mannered, America-attacking goon, who stole classified documents, lied about it and then tried to hide them, threatened poll workers with their lives, tried to shakedown elected officials, wrote love letters to dictators, refused to condemn Putin for his attack on our vote, and then lied about about the severity of a pandemic that ultimately knocked him down, and killed millions of us.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that the Republican Party would take the greatest threat to our survival on Earth seriously, and stop with their immature, sickening response to our warming climate that will most certainly affect their children, and their children’s children in too many catastrophic ways to count. There are hurricanes in California, 100-degree water temperatures in the Gulf, and islands that are on fire for God’s sake.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that the Republican Party would stop reading Hitler’s fascist playbook and start promoting books, instead of banning them.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that the Republican Party would allow our educators to teach American history — good and bad — instead of some ginned-up propaganda that helps white men feel better about themselves.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that Americans finally understood that Republicans break economies, and Democrats fix them. Since World War II, the economy has performed considerably better under Democratic presidents. This is just a damn fact. On average, the GDP has grown about 1.6 times faster under Democrats than under Republicans. This one really needs to be hollered from the rooftops.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that we could finally once and for all get rid of all these fucking guns, and short of that, impose a strict ban on assault weapons, so that our children don’t live in fear of having their heads blown off inside a classroom, while being taught how great white men are.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is for Republicans to stop attacking our military and putting America’s national security at risk by holding up crucial military promotions.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that Republicans would stop attacking our veterans and their families by consistently voting against laws and programs that would help them get on with their lives in as much comfort as possible, after sacrificing them for our freedom.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is Republicans would join with Democrats in reining in these disgusting, parasitical Big Pharma companies, who are gouging Americans, young and old, with insanely high drug prices, profiting off their sickness.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that Republicans would join with Democrats in keeping their grubby hands off of OUR Social Security and Medicare benefits.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that Republicans would join with Democrats to help feed our hungry children and provide our hardworking parents with affordable childcare.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is the media would knock it off with this lazy, both-sides brand of journalism, that’s cheap to produce and damaging to consume.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that every mainstream media entity in existence would finally setup Democracy Desks in their newsrooms that do nothing but report on the threat to our country if, God forbid, a Republican ever takes over the White House again. People need to know how dangerous this would be, and that our Democracy almost certainly wouldn’t survive it. Seems like a worthy use of editorial resources to me, given one of the first things to go under a Republican administration would be a free press.

I wish Joe Biden was younger …

But what I really wish … is that I never have to hear about his age again.

(D. Earl Stephens is the author of “Toxic Tales: A Caustic Collection of Donald J. Trump’s Very Important Letters” and finished up a 30-year career in journalism as the Managing Editor of Stars and Stripes. Follow @EarlofEnough)