Trump's Ivanka infatuation results in yet another major humiliation

There’s always a learning curve when you start a brand new job, no matter how qualified or prepared you might be. You have to learn everyone’s name, how to get along in the culture that’s being created in your immediate environment, and then give it your all to make sure you’re performing to the best of your ability as you continue to get acclimated.

Unless, of course, you’re a member of the Trump Regime, where all new hires can just walk into their gig without any experience, qualifications, or knowledge of what the role might entail — so long as they look good on camera.

So when it was announced last week that Newsmax talking head Katie Zacharia would take over as the newest Press Secretary, I made a prediction that she wouldn’t even last a Scaramucci.

As often as my political predictions come true — one of my Twitter followers dubbed Dublin “NosTARAdamus” — I was mostly joking, because Trump gives his blondes a lot of latitude when it comes to failing. However, Katie bolted from the Press Room on Monday after only taking three questions in her lone press briefing, which took a total of 14 minutes. And then Daddy Trump took her to Alaska so she wouldn’t have to talk to the big bad mean ol’ press.

And she never will again, because Zacharia was fired on Friday, which means a new record has been established.

Only the best people, said the worst person ever.

MAGA will now be forced into a new social media campaign that will somehow blame liberals for Katie tanking on Day One, which was only made worse by her awful interview Thursday night with Sean Hannity. I mean, if you’ve lost Client Number Three, you’re probably not long for your White House gig.

Ah, the schadenfreude of it all!

I wonder if this means the gun-toting, Biden-hating, egregiously misnamed Beni Rae Harmony will take over, or if Trump will just stop holding press briefings altogether. There hasn’t been a press conference at the Pentagon since May, so that would align with the substandards of the Trump Regime perfectly.

The bigger question is why Trump can’t keep a staff. Along with losing Katie, rumors are swirling that Chief of Staff Susie Wiles is also on her way out, possibly to be replaced by Kapo Nosferatu Stephen Miller.

Trump’s HR department seems to be located in an office with a revolving door, taking in and spitting out former Fox News and Newsmax talking heads, all because they “look like they came from Central Casting,” as the former TV game show host likes to say about the egregiously inexperienced people he’s put in charge of our national security.

As I recently wrote, Trump’s unhealthy infatuation with his Preferred Daughter, Ivanka, has led him to surround himself with blondes who bear a striking resemblance to her. That seems to be his only hiring barometer, because something is very wrong with his working relationship with Natalie “Diaper Bag” Harp, the most Ivanka-esque of them all.

His wish to have an Army of Ivankas to protect him from the press is how we got Kayleigh McEnany and Karoline Leavitt, and how they got their jobs at Fox.

Are you dizzy yet? Because his latest hire certainly seems to be.

Many people were already predicting that new hire Katie Zacharia’s first day as the White House Press Secretary would be a spectacular failure, because she’s an election-denying anti-vax QAnon conspiracy theorist who still thinks Pizzagate was real.

Even by the low standards set by Trump that get lower by the day, KKKatie bombed like no one we’ve seen from this regime, and that’s saying something. Aside from her awkward delivery, which made her sound like she was acting in a kindergarten play, Katie took a whole three questions from the allowed press and then bolted for the door when she realized just how far she was in over her head.

Now, everyone’s entitled to a few nerves on the first day at any job, but imagine how intimidating it would feel to be behind the White House Press Room podium. Even the best press secretaries have had contentious moments or made gaffes. However, I can’t recall a time when the press secretary for a Democratic president has ever humiliated the administration by being so egregiously underprepared and underqualified. Imagine Jen Psaki just bolting from the podium to avoid answering questions instead of owning Fox’s Peter Doocy, as she did on a regular basis.

Right after she ran out of the Press Room, Katie walked the press line outside the White House before she escaped on Marine One with Trump to accompany him to a campaign stop in Alaska.

This led to more questions.

Democrats had already taken notice of this latest abnormality and aren’t holding back as we barrel towards the midterms.

Did Trump let Katie off the hook from going back to work the next day, just because she’s a pretty blonde?

Reader, he did.

Just imagine the way these women have learned to use their looks to manipulate him into getting out of working. I bet Ivanka left them a playbook on how to play him perfectly.

So what better time to yet again revisit my suggestion that the Democrats hire a press secretary to hold live televised briefings five days a week.

The only way the media will ever get back on track is to start behaving the way it should. A Democratic press secretary would have the dignity that’s been lacking from the current regime by simply answering questions from the press, instead of bullying them.

We all need to demand better of our government, but it won’t get any better if we can’t get to the truth.