'Out here running toilet scams': Spectators dump on Trump's newest administration pick

President-elect Donald Trump's decision to select a former Rose Bowl tight end embroiled in a masculine toilet scandal to represent the nation abroad was received with the all the decorum such an announcement could expect.

"UPDATE: Trump picks Matthew Whitaker for NATO ambassador," the news outlet Tennessee Holler told readers Wednesday. "You may remember him as the acting attorney general who was on the board of a company that boasted toilets for 'well-endowed men.'"

Whitaker was indeed acting attorney general during Trump's first administration and, as multiple reports show, subjected to intense media scrutiny for pedaling toilets purportedly designed to keep large penises from touching human waste, as a "MASCULINE TOILET" press release explained in 2014.

But as Vanity Fair, the Washington Post, Miami New Times, the Wall Street Journal and GQ reported in 2018, the former federal prosecutor ran a Florida-based invention company that the news outlets, customers and investigators described as "a scam."

"Whitaker was also a cartoonish, grifting dope who shilled for a company that hawked time-travel cryptocurrencies, Bigfoot dolls, and toilets specially designed for men with big d----," GQ reported at the time. "[It] was shut down for good and paid a $26 million fine to the Federal Trade Commission earlier this year for its alleged wrongdoing."

The Post added, "The FTC alleged in a 2017 complaint that the company bilked customers with fraudulent promises that it would help them market their invention. The FBI has also investigated World Patent Marketing."

It appears political spectators have not forgotten these reports, as responses to Trump's latest appointment pick show.

."Everything old and disastrous is new and disastrous again," replied writer Polly Sigh. "Trump’s former inept acting-AG and 'masculine toilet' salesmen, Matthew Whitaker, will be Trump’s NATO Ambassador."

"The guy who ran a major toilet scam is now Trump’s nominated US Ambassador to NATO," wrote American public health scientist Eric Feigl-Ding. "That is all."

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"Trump's choice for Ambassador to NATO was out here running toilet scams and intimidating people who complained," wrote Brandon Weathersby, of the anti-Trump political group American Bridge. "Another [poo emoji] pick."

"This isn’t a nomination—it’s a sabotage mission," Democratic activist Chris D. Jackson replied. "This move is a direct attack on the foundation of our global partnerships."

"He has no foreign policy experience of any kind that I can find in his bio, announcement or wiki," added NBC News reporter Garrett Haake, "but appears to be the only NATO ambassador who would have played in a Rose Bowl."

However Brooke Rollins, of the influential conservative political group America First Policy Institute, said she was thrilled.

"FOR THE WIN! Strength. Smarts. Dedication. MAGA. All the qualities in our own [Whitaker] that will make him an outstanding United States Ambassador to NATO," Rollins wrote.

"Congratulations, my friend!!! You are the right man to represent America in a continent at war and under threat."