Liverpool: Fate has smitten us. I mean smoten. Smited? Anyway, we're f***ed.

Come on. COME ON. With our top 3 center backs Carragher, Agger, and Skrtel all 50/50 to miss our opening game at Spurs, and having seen Fernando Torres limp off with an ankle injury at the end of our final friendly vs Atletico Madrid, and having replaced Xabi Alonso with a Roma midfielder who's played less than Michael Owen the last 5 years, now comes word that Steven Gerrard hurts betwixt his legs:

Steven Gerrard has pulled out of the England squad for Wednesday night's friendly against Holland because of a groin injury.

The FA confirmed on Tuesday morning the Liverpool captain would return to his club due to concerns over a "tight groin".

I know, I know, it's precautionary. He'll play this weekend. But if he felt totally fine, he'd be playing in that friendly next week (despite it being the worst-timed friendly ever). You don't see Glen Johnson pulling out.

At least Mascherano's come around to staying. At least according to the manager.