Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was shredded on social media this week after an exclusive report revealed his high standards for military waistlines.
Laughter echoed online Wednesday after the Wall Street Journal reported the Pentagon had requested commanders nominate troops with "impeccable" grooming and specific waist-to-height measurements to attend Hegseth’s upcoming “State of the Force” address.
"Only send your strongest, buffest, most handsome men to watch [Mr.] Hegseth," New York Times columnist Jamelle Bouie quipped.
Hegseth's focus on physical appearance is hardly new — a 2025 speech saw him declare "no more beardos" or "fat generals" — nor is the criticism that the man who led the U.S. into war with Iran does not have his priorities straight.
That concern resurfaced Wednesday when The Atlantic staff writer Tom Nichols said of Hegseth's grooming standards, "Well, that'll crush the Iranians."
Popular X political commentator Mario Nawfal added, "Welcome to dress code boot camp, soldiers!"
Scott Horton, contributing editor at Harper's Magazine, expressed cold anger in his parody of the Wall Street Journal by adding a facetious physical trait that does not appear in the actual report.
"Of course their skin pigment must be white," he wrote.
Ian Seine, a political commentator on Bluesky, echoed this concern more bluntly when he called out the name of Hegseth's speech in a response to his 27,000 followers.
“'The State of the Force'? Seriously?" he wrote. "The Pentagon has asked military commanders to put forward its perfect persons, just like Hitler."