Seth Meyers on Tuesday took on Donald Trump’s tacit support of Roy Moore, mocking the president’s claim that his challenger Doug Jones is “soft on crime” when compared with an accused child predator.
“In fairness to Trump, who are you gonna believe?” Meyers asked. “Nine women who don’t know each other and whose stories have been corroborated by dozens of independent sources, or a guy who looks like the Marlboro Man’s deadbeat dad?”
“[Jones is] soft on crime?” he continued. “You’re siding with an accused child molester over a guy who prosecuted the KKK. You’re so soft, you look like a tub of melted Play-Doh.”
Meyers later turned to allegations levied against disgraced journalist Charlie Rose, who was fired Tuesday after multiple women accused him of engaging in sexual misconduct—including walking around naked in their presences.
The "Late Night" host offered this advice to would-be sexual predators.
“Here’s a good rule of thumb: if your face isn’t pulling in the babes, your penis isn’t going to make the difference,” Meyers counseled.
“Everybody’s penis is 100 percent less attractive than they’re face,” he continued. “Women don’t love the penis, if they love the man, they’ll tolerate the penis. The best your penis can ever hope for is, ‘Well, alright.’”
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