WATCH: Hilarious video shows just how crazy the conservative push for bathroom cops really is

Funny or Die has offered viewers a training video for would-be bathroom cops who want to make sure that "gender outlaws" are not illegally using the restrooms.

Officer Tammy Cox, a "proud member of the bathroom police," offers the tips in order to keep every restroom a "safe and wholesome place."

After first greeting the incoming bathroom patron, Officer Cox explains how to ask that person for proof of their sex -- a photocopied photo of their genitals should do the trick.

If, however, no such proof can be produced, the officer is instructed to determine whether the patron has a "bulge or a flattie." And if that is impossible to determine with the officer's eyes, well, that's when the HTC (Hand-To-Crotch) examination must take place

Cox warns the trainees: "You will have to keep your senses sharp in order to sniff out any illegal ding-dongs."

No word yet on whether North Carolina has hired Officer Cox to train its Target-boycotting citizens.

Watch the video below: