Confusion is not the word you're looking for
For those who haven't seen it, it's well worth it to read this response by Will Wilkinson to Kay Hymowitz's suggestion that women's human rights should be repealed so men don't have to ask if they're going dutch on dates. It's interesting and compassionate towards male complaints without giving one iota on the idea that men should suck it up and, gasp!, start treating women like people. In fact, Wilkinson really fleshes out the "treat women like people" idea, which is often a response to men who trot out the Nice Guy® complaint about how they don't have the secret code to push to get women---a single, undifferentiated group---to give them sex and affection. I'm forced to quote at length.