"Conservatives have the uncanny ability to know what Ronald Reagan would do at any given time," Stephen Colbert said last night. "Syrian conflict? Invade. Obamacare? Repeal. Soup or salad? Jelly beans."
"We conservatives know," he continued, "that the Gipper would never stand for the use of chemical weapons -- today. Of course in the 1980s his administration ignored chemical attacks by Saddam Hussein that killed thousands of Iranian troops and looked the other way when Saddam gassed his own Kurdish citizens, but remember, that's the old Reagan."
"We're talking about the hypothetical, contemporary Super Reagan: the man who never raised taxes, or tripled the deficit, and who knocked down the Berlin Wall using his nut sack as a wrecking ball."
See the entire video, as well as the rest of the show, here: