Oh look, Sarah Palin is in the news again!
When we last saw Sarah she was making announcements on her ShoutyFace page about making announcements on her ShoutyFace page about doin’ some heavy vettin’, some hard homeworkin’ , and being very discernmental about the folks she wants her fans to vote for, if the good Lord is willin’ and the Hoverounds start up.
And of course, there is also her Death Metal Critter Killin’ Hour debuting soon on the Sportsman Channel (“Hold muh beer, I’ma piss and then kill sumpin‘ “) which is great news for people who are too lazy to get off the couch and go outside and torture small animals no matter how loud the voices in their heads scream at them.
But is that enough Sarah Palin for God’s Chosen Country?
Actually, it’s probably too much, but tough titties America, because Sarah Palin is going to get her own teevee network channel called Rogue TV and it will be in your cable box in your house and there is nothing you can do about it.
Fox News contributor and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin will be launching her own digital video channel, tentatively called “Rogue TV,” a source familiar with the project told Capital.
The channel will be available through Tapp, the digital video service founded by former CNN chief Jon Klein and former NBC Universal entertainment executive Jeff Gaspin. Subscriptions will cost $10 per month.
So Tapp video service (“Tapp! We’ll tap anything!”) will offer the Wonderful World Of Wasilla for a mere $10 per month, which is about five Slim-Jims if you are a Sarah Palin fan, or two four-packs of Bartles & Jaymes if you are a Sarah Palin daughter.
No doubt there will also be commercials aimed at the very targeted “will watch Sarah Palin on TV” market. We’re guessing Bacon Bowls, Christian Mingle, and those man-pee pads that Tony Siragusa hawks on TV because, hey, it’s a paycheck.
And what kind of delightful programming might we expect on this new addition to the other eight-hundred channels you never watch??
- ‘America’s Top Meth Chefs’
- ‘The Big Bang Theory Behind The Circle K’
- ‘So You Think Bristol Can’t Dance, Well Screw You, She Does Just Fine, C’Mere Sweetie, Don’t Listen To Them’
- ‘How I Met Your Mother’ hosted by Glen Rice
- ‘Dr., Who Knocked My Daughter Up This Time?’
Something like that…
Palin’s channel will feature video commentaries from the former Republican vice-presidential candidate, discussing current events and political issues.
“Think of it as a video version of her Facebook page,” the source said.
…on a large flat screen television machine! Awesome.
That said, Rogue is also expected to feature footage of Palin and her family in Alaska, much as the 2010 TLC reality series, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” did. (TLC’s parent company, Discovery Communications, is an investor in Tapp.)
Sarah Palin seems to believe that America is absolutely fascinated with Alaska’s wide-open barren nothingness, moose-based diet, and inviting black fly and mosquito population. No mention, of course, of the annual 22.1 suicides per 100,000 residents giving Alaska has the highest suicide rate of all fifty states.
But, shut up – look! There goes a moose!
It will also have advice and guidance from Palin, such as tips for parents and recipes. There are also tentative plans to have subscribers engage in regular video chats with Palin.
Thank Jeebus that the vast wasteland will finally contain people that even the cast of Honey Boo Boo can look down upon….
[Sarah Palin, New Egypt on Shutterstock]