Michele Bachmann (R-North Bedlam) is not very happy with American Jews. No siree, she most definitely is not.
After all that American conservative evangelical Christians have done for The Chosen People, they persist in not choosing Republicans at the voting booth. C’mon, you guys! The Bible-thumpers are totally looking the other way about that little misunderstanding a couple of thousand years ago when you guys kinda-sorta killed Their Lord and Savior, The Prince of Peace, Son ‘O God: Jesus “MC J.C” Christ.
So can you folks of the Hebrew persuasion maybe help a Brother In Christ out and vote for a Republican, even if he’s a Mormon, once in awhile?
C’mon …. be a mensch (Jewish for: ‘cool dude’) just once!
Apparently it’s not in the Kabbalah cards, so Michele sat down with Tony Perkins from the Family Research Council, (‘Murican for: ‘chock full ‘o Godbotherers’) to explain that U.S Jews are bring about the destruction of their homeland – which is, admittedly, kind of bad for them – but it’s actually really worse for her because she’s not getting any younger and the End Times aren’t getting here any faster.
And you know why?
According to Right Wing Watch, Michele says it’s all because of those meddling Jews and that schvartzer in the, previously, White House:
The Jewish community gave him their votes, their support, their financial support and as recently as last week, forty-eight Jewish donors who are big contributors to the president wrote a letter to the Democrat [sic] senators in the US Senate to tell them to not advance sanctions against Iran. This is clearly against Israel’s best interest. What has been shocking has been seeing and observing Jewish organizations who it appears have made it their priority to support the political priority and the political ambitions of the president over the best interests of Israel. They sold out Israel.
Why it was just last year when Bachmann warned that the End Times Are Nigh:
“This happened and as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists, now what this says to me, I’m a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God’s end times history.”
“Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand,” Bachmann continued. “When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah.”
Cosmology note: Noah opens nationwide on March 28, so that has to mean something. Right?
Anyway, everybody knows that Jesus won’t come back until Israel is all nice and tidy, so it would be greatly appreciated if the U.S. Jews would clean up their act, stop hanging around with riff-raff (like giving him money and smokes), and stop treating Israel like a frat house; maybe make the bed, wash a few dishes and take out the empties.
Then, when He gets here, the Jews can all convert which will totally make up for that little whoopsie-doodle! from a couple of thousand years ago…
Bless your Savior-denying (John. 1:11) hearts…
[Image via DonkeyHotey on FLICKR, Creative Commons licensed]
WATCH LIVE: Trump addresses the nation after Iran retaliatory missile strike
President Donald Trump will address the nation Wednesday morning on Iran’s attack on two military bases in Iraq hosting U.S. Armed Forces. The missiles were a retaliatory strike in response to Trump’s decision to assassinate General Qassem Soleimani.
The White House had signaled the president would deliver his address Tuesday night, but walked that back and the president, insisting “All is well!” in a Tuesday night tweet promised to speak Wednesday morning.
Here are 11 of the most punchable faces of 2017
Remember back when 2016 began and the world held so much promise and then a bunch of people in the Midwest got mad at Hillary Clinton because she didn't visit their state fair, eat a corn dog and admire their butter cow so they decided to toss a match in the septic tank by voting for Donald Trump to "shake things up"?
That, among other reasons, is how we got to where we are now in Trump Year One: Like A Plague, But Kinda Worse.
It has been a very weird year compared to the past few to the point where someone like Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Zodiac Killer) is barely a blip on our screen because he seems sort of "meh" compared to the daily tsunami of Trump atrocities that have us drowning in depression -- and depending upon Robert Mueller and Zoloft (Ask your doctor if ZOLOFT is right for you) to pull us through.
WATCH LIVE: Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds WH briefing as Trump squabbles with Gold Star families
As President Donald Trump's administration squabbles with the family of Sgt. La David Johnson and Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-FL) over the president's ham-handed attempt to offer condolences to Johnson's widow, many people are failing to ask why U.S. Army Green Berets were in Niger at all.
White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders is expected to receive questions about Niger and more queries about the administration's decision to go on the warpath against Wilson with false charges about a 2015 speech.