'Oh no, there goes CEO, go go Mozilla' - Blue Oyster Cult, sorta

As a rule, white conservatives love love love victims. Providing, of course the victims aren't blacks who are still fighting institutional racism. Or old people who didn't plan for their future and now come begging, hat in hand, for their promised social security benefits. Get a job, Greatest Generation!

Or poor Mexicans who all snuck into the country to have babies and collect welfare and steal precious dishwashing jobs from hardworking Real Americans.

Or gays who wouldn't be discriminated against if they didn't act so gosh-darned gay all of the time and would just settle down with a woman and make babies the old-fashioned way. Which reminds me, conservatives also don't like women with their weird plumbing that makes them need free government slut pills, and also with their whining all of the time about equal pay and rape and sexual harassment blah blah blah. Just stop it gals, and go make a sandwich and have a baby like God intended... with a gay man.

Let's see, they also don't like young people who can't find jobs in a poor economy, but still manage to own iPhones for sexting and listening to rap hip hop gangster 'music.' Get a job, Millennials! In fact, they don't like anyone who is unemployed and trying to keep a roof over their heads and feed their family, but still own luxurious modern 'conveniences' like television sets, microwave ovens, space heaters, and shoes.  Get off welfare, losers!

They also don't like victims of natural disasters because they're too stupid to not live where there are earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, and weather.

On the other hand, they do like the Jews, but only because they need their country for a welcome wagon in case Jesus decides to stop by again.

But most importantly, white conservatives are head-over-heels full-metal-boner in love with the most persecuted group in the history of the universe: white conservatives.

And last week, they found their own personal Jesus in Brendan Eich after The Gays gay-crucified him for his homo-hating backing of homo-hating Prop 8 in California and then he resigned his position as CEO of Mozilla and now he is poor and living in a refrigerator box in an alley somewhere.

Oh, sure, Eich may have also contributed to the campaigns of  Nazi apologist Pat Buchanan  and kindly ole racist Dr. Ron Paul, but the gay apostasy thing is the one that really sticks because the gays control everything. And by everything, I mean the programers and code monkeys and designers who work with Mozilla keeping their products fresh and up-to-date; and they said they didn't want to work for a company overseen by a bigot. But it's hard to pin the blame on a diverse and faceless group of nerds, so let's blame the gays, whee!

Leading the charge is Andrew Sullivan -who is gay so he is allowed to have both the first and the last word on this  and also can change teams to conservative if the mood strikes him - in full shriek mode, the likes of which we haven't seen since Barack Obama handed the presidency on a silver platter to Mitt Romney at the Denver debate.

Andrew Sullivan:

Will he now be forced to walk through the streets in shame? Why not the stocks? The whole episode disgusts me – as it should disgust anyone interested in a tolerant and diverse society. If this is the gay rights movement today – hounding our opponents with a fanaticism more like the religious right than anyone else – then count me out. If we are about intimidating the free speech of others, we are no better than the anti-gay bullies who came before us.

Andrew Sullivan Nov. 18, 2008:

My own view is that we can protest and have; we are also within our rights to boycott businesses who bankrolled the initiative, and to confront the Mormon church. But we lost a fair fight because of complacency, and dreadful leadership.

Foolish consistency, hobgoblin, little minds, etc... Just shut up.

Free-lancing foreign policy guy Richard Grenell, who got shit-canned by the Romney campaign for gaying up the place, took to Twitter to stamp his feet over the stepping-asiding:

Screen Shot 2014-04-06 at 9.32.22 AMHe forgot to mention BENGHAZI!  in conjunction with Obama and Hillary. No points awarded.

Over at Ben Shapiro's playhouse, he launched one of his adorable petition drives seeking the consensus of a seemingly unattainable ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE to tell Firefox to die in a fire. Of course, you need to sign-in and give your email address in order to express your displeasure, to say nothing of supplying Ben and his partner David Horowitz with your information to sell and trade for fun and profit.

Fox News' pumpkinhead dolt, Todd Starnes, who is in high dudgeon about everything always (Mexican cheese is taking the jobs of  American cheese!), uses the Eich firing to promote his new book about intolerance against white Christians:

I write about this very issue in my upcoming book, “God Less America.” There are pages and pages filled with stories of workers and business owners who’ve either lost their jobs or faced public floggings for their support of traditional marriage.

The left does not believe people who oppose gay marriage should be allowed to engage in the democratic process. And they have a proven track record of intimidating and bullying those who do.

I would be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to the ladies who also think that Brendon Eich is a fine figure of man, who not walks the walk of a bigot, but writes the check of a bigot too. That honor goes to former Catholic shut-in Elizabeth "The Anchoress" Scalia who thinks there is some gay CEO somewhere who should sack up and give Eich a job, three hots, and a cot:

... a gay CEO with a pair of brass ones needs to step up and speak truth to a growing, and most illiberal new power. He or she needs to hire Brendan Eich in some sort of corporate leadership capacity for the sake of the most fundamental of freedoms — the freedom to think what you want to think, even if your thinking is unpopular or deemed “mistaken” — and in so doing boldly declare that our society has no truck with inquisitions.

Jeebus knows the Catholics know about inquisitions.

They practically invented them....

[Andrew Sullivan screenshot]