Here's a gift birthday girl Ivanka Trump richly deserves

Donald Trump’s unelected son-in-law is in very deep legal trouble thanks to a new bombshell book revealing alleged years of criminality in connection with Saudi Arabia and the death of journalist Jamal Khashoggi.

In a nutshell, the book claims that during the first Trump administration, Jared “Slenderman” Kushner was the beneficiary of secret bank accounts holding roughly $2 billion. It was essentially a bribe from UAE President Mohamed bin Zayed (MBZ) and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS) for Kushner to conduct off-the-books foreign policy and push for Middle East normalization.

The seeds planted then have borne deadly fruit, with the conflict escalating to the current war between Israel and Palestine and the resulting genocide in Gaza. At the same time, the book claims Kushner is also directly connected to Khashoggi’s horrific dismemberment, which was ordered by MBS.

You know, just another day for the Trump Crime Family.

While Kushner has been very busy pushing back against the allegations in the book, which was excerpted in Vanity Fair, his wife is busy acting like she’s just an average Instagram lifestyle influencer — instead of being up to her neck with whatever her husband gets up to.

Ivanka Trump Kushner’s brand is that of a doting wife and mother, and she has gone to extreme lengths to separate herself from her brothers’ and father’s business dealings. But she’s just as bad as the rest of them, no matter how many filtered photos she posts of herself and her children frolicking on an Albanian island she claims to have “discovered.”

She didn’t, of course, and now the Albanian government has launched a government inquiry into Ivanka’s intentions to turn Sazan Island into a luxury resort wellness retreat.

As she celebrated her 45th birthday last week — appropriately on All Hallow’s Eve, because she’s just as ghoulish as her husband and dad —Ivanka is also now facing scrutiny regarding all of their crimes. You can’t tell me she had no idea what Jared was up to in Saudi Arabia, just like you can’t tell me she’s nothing like her family.

Ivanka is her father’s daughter.

Some people sympathize with Ivanka, suggesting she was simply a victim of her father’s inappropriate fixation with her, and therefore should be “left alone.” But she’s also been called “smart” and a “savvy businesswoman,” so that means she knew what she was doing.

While she was dropped as a defendant in the 2023 civil fraud case against dad's business and her brothers, Ivanka was a defendant in the New York Attorney General's 2018 civil lawsuit regarding the misuse of charity funds raised by the Trump Foundation, where she was a board member.

As a result, the foundation was dissolved, and then-AG Barbara Underwood ordered all three adult Trump kids to complete “mandatory nonprofit management and fiduciary duty training.”

Ivanka played a smaller role in a similar scandal connected to her brother Erik’s charity for kids with cancer, where funds were scrutinized for “indirectly benefiting Trump Organization golf properties,” aka stealing money from kids with cancer.

Another thing Vanky has in common with the male members of her family, as well as multiple members of her dad’s staff, is her willingness to believe she's untouchable. Their favorite never-enforced infraction is violating the Hatch Act, which Ivanka did on Twitter over 30 times in one week in 2020.

Leave her alone? I don’t think so. Not when MAGA was mercilessly attacking Hunter Biden while Ivanka once went on a super fun vacation with Vladimir Putin’s then-girlfriend, Wendi Deng, in August 2016. Deng also just happened to be Rupert Murdoch’s ex-wife, which I’m sure is just a weird coincidence and that friendship was totally real and not at all politically motivated.

Deng doesn’t just have terrible taste in men. She’s also responsible for Ivanka and Jared’s marriage. According to a 2016 profile in the New Yorker, the couple had briefly split in 2008 over their religious differences. Deng, then still married to Rupert, invited Jared for a weekend on the Murdoch family’s yacht. Jared showed up without knowing that Deng had also invited Ivanka. They got back together, and Ivanka later converted to Judaism (which made her father furious) before their wedding in 2009.

The Kushner family has had its own share of scandals, with the most famous one involving Jared’s father, Charles Kushner, who hired a sex worker for his brother-in-law, who was cooperating with federal investigators in a tax evasion and campaign finance probe of the elder Kushner. Fun Time Charlie had their encounter secretly filmed, and then sent the tape to his sister.

As a result, he pleaded guilty to witness tampering and was sentenced to prison. That is, until Jared’s father-in-law intervened and issued him a pardon in 2020.

All because his special Princess Sparkleface asked him to.

And then there’s her famously contentious relationship with her stepmother, Melania, who’s currently following the Trump Stolen Valor Playbook by claiming she’s the architect behind the temporary ceasefire in Ukraine, instead of the Pope.

Trump insiders claim the two have never gotten along, but the tension between them escalated when Ivanka acted as the de facto First Lady during the early months of the first administration, while Melania stayed behind in New York with Barron until he finished out the school year. It was Melania who secretly called Ivanka “The Princess,” knowing her husband preferred the company of his older daughter.

If Ivanka is capable of helping her criminal husband help his criminal dad thanks to her criminal dad, then there’s just no way Ivanka didn’t know what her husband was up to when he was conspiring with MBS, just like there’s no way she didn’t know what her brothers and father were up to.

The question remains as to when anyone might expect anything resembling consequences for any member of the Trump Crime Family. I’m sure Ivanka would disagree, but the best birthday present for most Americans would be her arrest, along with theirs.