Trump's rant about 'people in the dark shadows' controlling Biden gets hilariously roasted by WaPo columnist

President Donald Trump earlier this week went off on a conspiratorial rant about Democratic rival Joe Biden being controlled by unnamed "people in the dark shadows" who are purportedly working to bring anarchy to the United States.

Washington Post columnist Alexandra Petri on Wednesday roasted Trump for throwing around bizarre conspiracy theories, and she wrote up a mock question-and-answer page in which she added more details about the supposed "shadow people" pulling Biden's strings.

To the relief of many, Petri writes, these shadowy figures are not the kinds of "sex demons" that other GOP candidates have claimed are trying to undermine the president.

That's little comfort, however, because she also says that they "are the allies of the sex demons."

Petri also jokingly claims that the president was born with innate magical powers to detect the shadow people.

"It is because of this gift that he surrounds himself only with such luminous beings as Paul Manafort and Steve Bannon and Roger Stone, who shine with a pure radiance and merit absolute trust," she writes.

Elsewhere in the column, Petri gives advice for knowing when the shadow people have a hold over you.

"If you are listening to the president speak about police shootings and he likens them to missing a golf putt, and you feel a cold, chilly, awfulness in the pit of your stomach -- that is not the response you ought to have, and the Shadow People are probably to blame," she writes.

Read the whole column here.