Pandagon
Voters Aren't Votes
Here's the entire thing about registering to vote: it's the act of trading in a set of information about your self which may or may not allow to subsequently register your choice for a series of offices and issues at a time and place of someone else's choosing.
It is not, however, voting, a distinction which seems to elude many voter/vote fraud theorists. There's a reason most of us aren't too pressed about ACORN handing in bad voter registrations - while it's certainly inconvenient and even potentially illegal to do so, a voter registration for a voter that doesn't exist generally doesn't result in an actual vote, making the entire thing more a comedy of errors than a grave threat to our democracy.
The problem is, however, that the right is using what mainly constitute bureaucratic snags and padded timesheets/registration targets to subsequently declare that all of those registrations are being turned into real votes, which makes no sense. The amount of coordination and deception to turn ten fake voter registrations into ten fake votes is so large and likely so inconsequential to the vote that anyone capable of doing it in a way that would alter a major election either A.) will and should win, because they're the Illuminati or B.) will get easily discovered and put in jail, because it's already hard enough to get real people with real names and addresses out to vote.
It's the oddest obsession imaginable - even if you get Elmer Fudd's registration through and they can show up and vote, the person who dumped Elmer Fudd's name into the registration queue is now going to have to manufacture the vote. It's really, really difficult, and you might as well just get a real voter to vote honestly.
All us wacky liberals are concerned with the machines and the workers and the tabulation because it's far easier to alter votes after they exist than it is to manufacture voters who then manufacture votes. The only reason you're concerned with registrations and not about tabulation is because you're trying to reduce the pool of votes to fuck with in the first place.
Ah, well. I'm off to early vote now. Where's my "Rick James Bitch, Jr." ID?
Yaz dinged for curing a disease of tradition
I'm always a little suspicious when our current FDA, which has been on a mission to make birth control hard for women to get, makes a move in the direction of birth control. But, like Tracy Clark-Flory, I can't help but think it's a good thing that they're reining in those annoying ads for Yaz that are the worst offenders in the art of advertising birth control pills as anything but pregnancy prevention, a tendency that Sarah Haskins has brilliantly skewered.
It's a fascinating thing, because it's clear the marketers are afraid of offending audiences with the unholy suggestion that women take the birth control pill mainly so they can have sex without those all-important "consequences". That the birth control pill can be used to rein in miserable periods has become its excuse for existing, even amongst feminists. Rare is the thread underneath a post anywhere about the right's attempts to prevent women from using birth control that you get more than 10 comments in before someone pulls the, "But there's MEDICAL reasons to take the pill. I have cramps/bleeding/etc." I know they're trying to help, but it does reinforce the notion that preventing pregnancy isn't a legitimate medical necessity. Plus, anyone who's lived in heavy Catholic territory knows that every single Catholic girl under a certain age on the pill just had really bad cramps, you know. The birth control is just a happy side effect and god totally can't get mad. (Disco Ball bless doctors willing to say that any teenager who wants the pill has a medical condition. It's not far from the truth---the severity of cramps and bleeding when you're a teenager will lead one to wonder why nature hates young women in the first years of post-pubescent life.) Ads like these Yaz ones reinforce this squeamishness, as Tracy notes:
The first, which stopped running in 2007, starts by telling us: “We all know that birth control pills are 99 percent effective and can give you shorter, lighter periods. But did you know there’s a Pill that could do more? ” Then it shows women giving an upper cut and karate kick to words like “irritability” and “moodiness”— all to a pop remix of Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It.”
Effective against what? Being a bitch? Because that's the implication in some of the worst offender ads.
Of course, the problem with the ads is they're advertising themselves as treatment for a disease that is not something it's approved to treat, and is also---and I know I'm going to get crap for this---something that doesn't seem to exist once you apply scientific rigor to it. Carol Tavris wrote about this much more sensitively than I ever could, so I recommend reading the chapter in Mismeasure of Women on how PMS morphed from a very real (and debilitating) disease that affects about 5% of women to a much more hazy and ever-growing set of symptoms that can actually occur any time of the month to any woman, but are assumed to be PMS "lite". The phrase "PMS" became such a catch-all and it was assumed that most or all menstruating women suffer from it, and now they have an entirely different word for what used to be called PMS---premenstrual dysphoric disorder. No one is skeptical of the 5% of women---and really, 1 in 20 is a lot---that has symptoms that are so severe that they really stand out.
Of course, Tavris's skeptical chapter on PMS was written in 1992, so maybe things have changed? Maybe there's newer, better evidence that PMS isn't a social construct that has the dual functions of medicalizing a normal (if not particularly pleasant) part of life and giving women an out for their undesirable-in-women (but very human) emotions? If you know of it, leave it in the comments. My Googling didn't turn up any scientifically rigorous studies to read.
Tavris's argument is that the symptoms that are touted as PMS symptoms are a mish-mash of just hormonal fluctuations that you have every right to treat if they make you uncomfortable, but aren't exactly a disease, and also behaviors that are common to the human condition, but considered undesireable in women, which compels women who exhibit them and the people around them to write off their behavior as stemming from hormones, not from genuinely felt emotions. Studies she cites show, for instance, that irritability didn't tie to menstruation in any consistent way in women who felt they were PMS sufferers. The Yaz commercial points to this unpleasant conclusion, as does the lists of symptoms found all over the internet, as you can see in the ad. Call it the balloons of bitchiness ad:
I'm often irritable and fatigued. I don't know anyone who isn't at times, but women especially seem to suffer and I blame the second shift as much as anything.
* Mood changes (e.g., crying for no reason, depression, anxiety, anger, sadness or irritability)
* Changes in mental functioning (inability to concentrate or remember)
* Changes in sex drive (increased or decreased libido)
* Upset stomach, diarrhea or constipation
* Fatigue
* Difficulty sleeping
* Headache
* Fluid retention/bloating
* Acne
* Breast tenderness
* Joint or muscle pain
* Cramping
* Food cravings (especially for carbohydrates, chocolate and other sweets)
* Weight gain
Of these, if I remember correctly, breast tenderness and bloating are pretty well-established, scientifically speaking, and it makes sense. But some of this stuff is almost funny. Your sex drive goes up OR down. It's only PMS if it bothers your partner, I guess. Which is my point. The list of PMS symptoms, especially the ones singled out by commercials like the Yaz one, corresponds remarkably well to the list of "Thou shalt nots" for women in our culture if they don't want to be called a bitch. Having a big appetite, snapping at people who irritate you, any weight gain at all, being upset when it's inconvenient for others---if you're a man, these are your privileges (to an extent, with the exception of weight gain past a certain point). If you're a woman, well, it's not your fault you were out of line. It was your hormones, thank god.
Again, it's crystal clear that a percentage of women have severe, debilitating symptoms. But I question a society that redefines reasonable shows of anger or sadness, occasional desires to just dig in and eat, and feeling horny or not when it's inconvenient to men as a disease so that we can dismiss the real person behind these feelings. Moreover, I can't help but point out that PMS is a go-to excuse for sexists seeking to deprive women of power. How many jokes did you hear about Hillary Clinton's PMS during the primaries, even though she's probably not had a period in many years? And how come we don't hear them when it comes to Sarah Palin, even though she's always cuddling living evidence that she's still fertile? I argue it's because "PMS" is a code word in our culture for "disobedient woman".
I always feel guilty being a PMS skeptic, because I have nothing but sympathy for women who feel relief being able to avoid being a bitch and relabel themselves as someone who deserve sympathy because they have a physical problem. Many a time has my period been the scapegoat for a cookie consumed or a stress headache it was inappropriate to feel in the face of demands of effortless perfection. It's so tempting that even women I know on the pill---which cures PMS, doesn't it?---lay claim to symptoms, and I include myself. But the dangers are increasingly apparent to me, both in that it's used to dismiss women as equals to men, and also that it gives our culture an excuse to dismiss women's desires and feelings.
You know, plus it gives drug manufacturers one more excuse to obscure the fact that yes, women use contraception for contraception.
Deranged McCain/Palin mob in Strongsville, OH; campaign caters to this base with new 'Ayers' ad
Sigh. As I've said before, the IQ of these conservatives is dropping like an anchor.
Tim Russo at BloggerInterrupted interviewed some of the ignorant yahoos at a Bible Spice rally in Strongsville, OH and the ignorance -- added on top of the proud bluster, is incredible:
A sample of the comments:
"I think he (Obama) is a one-man terror cell."
"He's got the bloodlines...look at the name."
"There have been more personal interviews with Sarah Palin than Barack Obama."
And then some tool comes up to one of the unhinged yahoos who can't stay away from the camera and instructs her - "Don't answer any questions until he (Tim) submits them to you in writing."
***
Straight from the Straight Talking Maverick Machine into my mailbox. The smell of flopsweat and desperation requires a Glade Plug-in as they feed upon this intellectual mob's desire with the release of its latest ad this AM,"Ayers".
ANNCR: Barack Obama and domestic terrorist Bill Ayers. Friends. They've worked together for years.
But Obama tries to hide it. Why?
Obama launched his political career in Ayers' living room.
Ayers and Obama ran a radical "education" foundation, together.
They wrote the foundation's by-laws, together.
Obama was the foundation's first chairman.
Reports say they, "distributed more than $100 million to ideological allies with no discernible improvement in education."
When their relationship became an issue, Obama just responded, "This is a guy who lives in my neighborhood."
That's it?
We know Bill Ayers ran the "violent left wing activist group" called Weather Underground.
We know Ayers' wife was on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list.
We know they bombed the Capitol. The Pentagon. A judge's home.
We know Ayers said, "I don't regret setting bombs. .... I feel we didn't do enough."
But Obama's friendship with terrorist Ayers isn't the issue.
The issue is Barack Obama's judgment and candor.
When Obama just says, "This is a guy who lives in my neighborhood."
Americans say, "Where's the truth, Barack?"
Barack Obama. Too risky for America.
JOHN MCCAIN: I'm John McCain and I approve this message.
If this is such a critical issue in the campaign at this juncture -- and he approves of the message, then why did John McCain not take the opportunity to stand onstage with the "terrorist" during this week's town hall on national television and personally ask Obama about his past "associations?' No cojones, McSame? Don't want your past associations on the table? Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow discuss some of those McGuilt by Association ties. See the video below the fold. Via Raw Story:
Former Clinton aide Paul Begala pointed out on Sunday that McCain sat on the board of the U.S. Council for World Freedom, part of the World Anti-Communist League, having joined in 1982 after the Anti-Defamation League called it a "gathering place for racists and anti-semites with links to Nazi collaborators and right-wing death squads." The Council for World Freedom was funded by right-wing tycoon Sun Myung Moon, and among its ranks were founding CIA member and Iran-Contra figure John K. Singlaub. While McCain resigned from the organization due to a stated "lack of time," he attended one of its events as late as 1986, and the organization continued to use his name on its letterhead around the same time.Governor Palin's involvement with the pro-secession Alaskan Independence Party, to which husband Todd belonged, was also criticized. The Governor herself, in a March video message, told the organization to "keep up the good work." Founder Joe Vogler, in 1993, intended to give a speech denouncing "American tyranny" at the United Nations with the sponsorship of Iran.
"If Iran ties and secession do not qualify as terrorist associations," Olbermann said, the WACL also armed and sent supplies, including boots, to rebels in Afghanistan who would become the Mujahadeen, later the Taliban, and Osama bin Laden, "whom McCain once promised to chase to the gates of Hell."
The full Countdown transcript isn't available yet, but it will be located on MSNBC's page later.
The Known Seven
The crazy over Barack Obama has reached newer, sweatier levels than ever before. Is he a Maoist? A Socialist? The Sexiest?
Of course, as fetid a fever swamp as the National Review is, few can ever hold a candle when Hugh Hewitt decides to fully engage his thug thizzle:
The argument about the disastrous economic policies being pushed by Obama must be made by McCain every day going forward even as the campaign continues to hammer Obama for his past judgment and future inclinations when it comes to allies and associates. Ayers-Rezko-Wright-Khalidi are part of a pattern that would certainly follow into the staffing of trhe vast federal establishment. The Daily Kos-Michael Moore wing of the Democratic Party wants its pages from the Plum Book, and the Pelosi-Reid staffers have all got their Assistant Secretary offices picked out. The Left is planning for a huge sweep, and a big party, and...
So, all that John McCain has to do is, in three and a half weeks, connect Barack Obama to Bill Ayers, Tony Rezko, Jeremiah Wright, Rashid Khalidi, Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, Michael Moore, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid in a devastating 30-second spot, despite the fact that the American people are probably (if you're feeling charitable) only familiar with two of those seven people. He then has to convince us that despite his often tenuous connections to these people, he will staff the entire government with their clones, like they're Cylons. In fact, it would probably help if John McCain just spent his last remaining campaign dollars sending the first three seasons of Battlestar Galactica to persuadable voters in swing states, with a hundred page guide informing you that Bill Ayers is totally Leoben.
Did I mention that I have no idea who I'm voting for, and that I have Blu-Ray? Just saying.
John McCain's rage - a national security concern
Wow. Mr. Hot Head's temper is the subject of this video by Brave New Films, and the team there doesn't pull punches. Over 30 people in government, the military, journalists and citizens have now gone on the record about their personal experiences with the volatile rages of the GOP nominee (including the backhanding of a young woman outside of his office, knocking her against the wall). Watch it:
Transcription of some comments:
Pat Buchanan: "He is in everybody's face. Did you see Thad Cochran? He said John McCain is a bellicose, red-faced angry guy who constantly explodes."
Eleanor Apocada, sister of a Vietnam POW/MIA, who had gone with a delegation to meet with Sen. McCain at his office (regarding the Missing Persons Act of 1996): "We had gathered on both sides of the hallway just a short distance from McCain's office. When we saw McCain and a young woman come from his office...I then saw Jeannette Jenkins, the niece of a missing man, she stepped forward and before she could say anything, McCain backhanded her, she hit the wall. It was so loud that it resonated in the hallway."
The video also shows a letter sent to the Senate Ethics Committee by Jenkins citing "McCain was angry and hostile and he shoved me."
From Brave New PAC:
During last night's debate, John McCain said we need "a cool hand at the tiller," but McCain has proven to be a loose cannon. He has accosted his Congressional colleagues on both sides of the aisle on everything from the federal budget to diplomatic relations. He is known for hurling profanities rather than settling disagreements calmly. His belligerence is legendary. Even conservative Senator Thad Cochran of Mississippi has said, "He is erratic. He is hotheaded. He loses his temper and he worries me."When someone earns the nickname "Senator Hothead," the public ought to call his character into question. McCain's propensity to explode undermines his abilities as a rational decision maker, particularly on national security issues -- which could prove disastrous considering our country is already involved in two wars.
McCain's temper is critical to his decision-making abilities, and his character must be discussed. As Drew Westen writes, "The political brain is an emotional brain. It is not a dispassionate calculating machine, objectively searching for the right facts, figures and policies to make a reasoned decision." That why it's so crucial people know the real Senator Hothead.
Why are people still sitting on the fence about whether they want to vote for this man, who clearly cannot control his temper? This is not the kind of experience this country needs. Imagine if Barack Obama had engaged in a tenth of the documented public rages and rude behavior McCain has -- would he be at the top of the Dem ticket?
Unless he was a Democratic plant, of course
I was listening to a basically non-partisan radio show today, and a McCain supporter called in to say that the thing he was most worried about was Obama's plan to cut taxes for the middle class and lower; "after all," the reasoning went, "the middle class pays most of the taxes in this country, and he wants to cut their taxes? That's a terrible idea in this economic environment."
This Republican citing a plan to lower taxes (and misunderstanding the numbers involved) as a reason to vote against a candidate was made even more ironic by the fact that he came immediately after another caller who had eloquently and convincingly argued that most people voting for McCain are just grasping at straws to avoid voting for the black man.
Reform the debates, please
Since I found myself alternately bored and squirming in angsty fury last night during the townhall debate, I'm siding with Lindsay---something has to be done about these terrible debates. I realize campaign people are risk averse, and so even when they have a much stronger candidate like Obama is over McCain, they tend to want a place where candidates can spout pre-packaged talking points rather than actually engage questions, but Lindsay's right. The format gives the loser a lot more breathing room.
We don't need the debate to cover each candidate's entire worldview and platform. We need a format that will test their actual debating skills and their grasp of specific issues. The current format is so easy on the candidates that even the weaker of the two can muddle along, carefully avoiding the questions and the specifics.
Palin was less a gibbering mess during her debate than during her interviews because she could spout zingers and lines instead of engage the questions. Had they had a real debate about the issues, Biden would have buried her. Honestly, McCain wouldn't be much better under more direct pressure. What was making me climb the walls last night was watching Obama get visibly frustrated with the way that McCain kept regurgitating the same tired lies and nonsense. The candidates agree ahead of time to short responses with no back and forth, which means that if you try to reply to someone lying, you look like you're a mic hog. The best part of the debate was where they swapped off back and forth on the economy, and even that would have been better if it had been looser. Had they had more room to really has it out, I think it would have been better. The best debates were between the candidates in the Democratic primaries when it was just 2 or 3 candidates, and they were able to really engage each other.
No way would Republicans go for this, and Democrats would perhaps be even more worried because they'd be afraid they'd spend so much time correcting lies that they wouldn't have time to be affirmative. (Obama's biggest mistake yet again. Biden was amazing because he merely smiled when Palin lied and kept talking about himself and his running mate as if she didn't matter.) And that is a concern. But anything has to be better than that wah-wah-you're-breaking-the-rules crap that happened because neither candidate had a chance to respond in the moment with the rules as written.
Let's hope the last one isn't horrific. It's domestic policy, which is where Obama speaks from the hip easily.
Mostly because we need a break from non-stop election stuff
Men can like cats nowadays for the same reason that men can find Tina Fey really sexy---because feminism has loosened the gender bindings of masculinity enough that they can find something other than dumb adoration appealing. You're welcome, men. I realize that my comment about dumb adoration will probably come across as offensive to dog people, so I'll state up front: I am a dog person. In fact, I think getting dumb adoration from your pet is the appropriate place for that, so that you don't put that on your lover. I'm just noting that under the old gender rules, masculinity was often considered mutually exclusive from desiring loving relationships of the romantic or pet variety with anyone capable of more than gazing at you with that blank intensity of pure thoughtless love.
Of course, part of it is the simple fact that cat ownership is on the rise overall, and dog ownership is on the decline. Cats just are more appropriate for the modern urban lifestyle. It's a matter of space, yes, but it's also a time issue. People work long hours and have long commutes and all that isn't so great for dogs, who need lots of outside time. Cats don't need to go outside. In fact, it's fun for me to taunt my cat when she's sitting in the window longingly gazing at birds. "You'd like to go out and get hit by a car, wouldn't you?" I say with an evil, cat-depriving laugh.
It's true that the notion that men would balk at cat ownership is silly, and it's also true that the methodology on the story is as crappy as it usually is in NY Times trends stories, but I'm not really that unnerved by this story, which is pretty harmless, unlike stories that try to guilt women into damaging "traditional" choices. Plus, the premise of the story---that cats are coded as feminine in our culture, and therefore looked down upon, but that this is changing---is absolutely true. And I find that fascinating, and not just because I'm a cat person.* Are some men less hung up about TEH GHEY? Are cats becoming less gender-marked? I'm inclined to think the former more than the latter, because cats are still strongly associated with women in our culture. In fact, it's still a standard issue insult to feminists to say, "You're single and own cats!", which is one of the many creative ways our culture has come up with to express a fear of girl cooties. And a lot of people I meet with anti-cat prejudices have them because they still have associations with cats that go back to deeply buried misogynist stereotypes, even in people who aren't particularly sexist. The cure for cat hostility, as my mother always said, is exposure. Most people who don't like cats just don't know them.
Plus, the joke about Robert De Niro being a cat person in "Meet the Parents" doesn't work unless you assume cat love is coded as feminine, making it unusual for such a manly man.
*See how I did that? See, people can be both cat people and dog people. The dichotomy between the true has always been artificial.
Forget red and blue America
The real divisions are between pop people, soda people and coke people.
As with many things, I'm a liminal person. I used to say "coke", but switched to the second favorite around here (you can see it on the map), which is "soda", because "coke" is often confusing. I've almost completely scrubbed "coke" out of my vocabulary. What started off as an inclination towards clarity probably is just further evidence that I'm the Librul Elite.
Undecideds
Atrios wonders why there are still undecideds at this point.
There's an element that you encounter in known swing states (Ohio in particular) where it's a badge of honor to be "undecided" up until the last minute. It shows that you're not only not being swayed by all the sundry things that the media tells them they shouldn't be swayed by yet parrots in order to sway them. It's a feedback loop - there's a heightened niche status given to not making a decision until the last possible minute which reinforces the necessity among some of not even thinking about making a decision.
Undecideds exist in large part because they're fetishized for existing, and because they're continually given all the tools of false equivocation and wrongheaded cynicism in order to justify that self-promoting fetish. There are only two real tools needed to remain undecided, because they cancel each other out - the first is the driving, voracious hunger for "specifics" and the second is the unyielding hatred of anything even resembling "not talking to people like me". A plan to do X is both lacks specifics because the person describing it said it in a straightforward fashion with the assumption that they would use the requisite abilities of their job to accomplish it and, when the details of doing it are revealed, it lacks the "everyman" quality that the first statement had. Then, having been led to assume that the style of delivering drastically different plans falls into one of those two categories at every juncture, undecideds then get to assume that there's no real difference between competing politicians because they all say the same thing (by which they mean it falls into one of two vague categories of delivery).
Eventually, they go into the voting booth and make a choice based on who knows what, helping choose someone as the next president for reasons that in no way demonstrate the alleged close attention they've been paying for the past several weeks. And we then spend the next four years wondering if this president can sway those same voters to their side for the vital issues of the day that they've never heard of and will pay no substantive attention to until the last possible minute.
A Day In The Life Of The Only Appreciator Of The Masculine Life Force
Kathy G is on it---Camille Paglia has outdone herself in the stupidity department, if you can believe it. People always wonder why Salon publishes her, but I don't. She was a founder; she probably has an iron-bound contract that says they have to. Mickey Kaus and Lord Saletan are harder-working contrarians, and that's saying a lot, because being a contrarian is just a matter of guessing what your average liberal thinks and disagreeing. It's not really different than being a conservative, except you maintain a pose---some people pull it off for years---that you're a liberal who just finds your fellows thoughtless or disagreeable. Paglia's twist on this is that she's the feminist who hates women, unless they give her girl wood. So naturally, she luvs Sarah Palin. Her crush reminds me of this post Samhita linked yesterday for discussion. I disagree that men as a whole are so dick-oriented in their thinking, but I couldn't disagree that this is going on in light of the wood-based voting comments offered by Rich Lowry, and Palin's winking and wiggling her way through the debate.
However a lot of men, especially older men see her as hot. She's a fantasy come to life. She's the naughty librarian 'MILF' who they'd love to get with. This manifest itself in the form of male talk show hosts giving her a pass. Many actually spend valuable time talking about her looks and small time stuff and not her scary politics.
It manifest itself in people actually giving John McCain props for picking such a nice 'looking babe' versus's focusing on his shortcomings. It sort of like him having a trophy wife. Except this one will have serious impact on US policy. It manifest itself in male producers who are behind the scenes spending time editing film and audio tape giving her a favorable look as she is a welcome break from the daily onslaught of old wrinkly white males who they are usually editing.
Paglia is one of these guys. She denies that her main attraction to Palin is bone-ability, but seriously, she invokes Madonna and she waxes poetic about Palin's motherhood, as if that's unique amongst female candidates. She actually tries to compare Palin's unintelligible answers to questions to the dialects of recent immigrants who speak broken English, which is inventive and charming, but I have to point out is a product of necessity. Palin is a lifelong English-speaker. Paglia waves her hands about voting for Obama, but seriously, she writes like a full-blown wingnut.
As for Palin's brutally edited interviews with Charlie Gibson and that viper, Katie Couric, don't we all know that the best bits ended up on the cutting-room floor?
Sure they did, Camille. Sure they did.
Like I told Kathy, I think that Paglia probably likes Palin not despite of Palin's hostility to rape victims and unwillingness to put law enforcement on the job of fighting rape, but because of it. I dare someone to write her and bring it up, and see what she says.
Paglia is lazy, but I'm not sure it's easy to be her. After all, her entire writing career is about filtering the world through two lens: 1) Women are just obviously inferior to men, and the only good woman is a woman who presents a fantasy (preferably sexual) for men, and never questions male authority or even violence and 2) Nuh-uh. Which is to say that if she's not interested in listening to liberal ideas or arguments, but she just knows they're wrong and will spend her entire time writing coming up with allusion-laden rationalizations for why. If she lives this way, it must be exhausting. Think about all the interactions that she has to be a bellicose bully to get through in order to preserve her self-image as a masculinity-upholding force of super-reader nature. Speculations:
*Paglia usually drinks coffee in the morning that she makes herself. Her wife, in a moment of graciousness, gets up before her and makes the coffee. Paglia swoops in and bristles at the nicey-nice liberal lady behavior. "From now on, I'll be drinking tea. Liberals have lost the verve and the nerve that drove the revolutionaries to throw the Boston Tea Party. Western imperialists conquered the world with their masculine heartiness reinforced by tea, not coffee. I'll have nothing to do with the elitist coffee bean that may show up in salt of the earth 7-11 coffee machines, but is also in the drinks of the nattering ladies who cluster in upscale espresso bars."
*Standing in line at the grocery store, Paglia looks up and sees that the clerk in the next line has opened it up. She waves Paglia over and points out it'll be much faster in the shorter line. Paglia harrumphs. "Convenience is what makes people so weak. The Greeks would have never been victorious in the Trojan War if they'd tried to speed through it. Madonna wouldn't have become The Greatest Feminist Ever if she'd given up after her first album."
*At the bank, the teller notes that she can get Paglia into a better savings account with a higher interest rate in two keystrokes. Paglia arches an eyebrow at her and says, "I will take your offer, but I have to register my distress at the way this bank is run. I blame the feminists who think that women should just be offered the easy life and higher interest rates. What ever happened to scratching and clawing and fighting? Athena did not slide into a higher interest rate through the comforting moisture of the vagina. She burst through a skull and demanded it! Why have feminists abandoned the warrior spirit?"
*In the parking lot, a guy driving by in his car wolf whistles at Paglia. She feels annoyed, and assumes that it must be because other women out there can't find it in their heart to bask in the mighty masculine power she just bore witness to. She gazes after the car, composing an ode to the "No Fear" sticker on the back window, one that features the word "hysterical" to describe anyone who thinks those stickers are stupid and/or tacky.
*Back at home on the couch, Paglia's wife suggests they watch the latest critical darling in the vein of "The Wire" or "Mad Men". Paglia agrees, but within 15 minutes finds herself becoming annoyed. "Lord Byron would have never just sat down at his desk and carefully written his work as if he were Emily Dickinson scribbling away in secret in her bedroom. So why must these TV writers? Have they forgotten the true life of the writer, to put down the pen and go tackle the world! Change the channel. The only true poets working in TV are the ones who toss off the ideas for reality TV shows and then go out drinking."
Since we're weak-minded, feminized liberals, let's make this a community effort. Come up with your own examples of how Paglia's attitude must make her life wearying.
Redesign The Second
Post-election, I'd like to do a redesign of the site again, focusing on fixing the issues in this one and also on any improvements we need to put it.
The first thing I want to say is that we absolutely need to put in a blogroll/blogrolls. It really sucks from the perspective of the larger blogosphere that we don't share any link love, and it's a feature that I just forgot to put in this time around. The second is that I'm bound and determined to find a way to integrate advertising in a less obtrusive way.
There'll be a vote and everything on some designs, too. It'll be awesome. What else are you looking for in a new and improved Pandagon?
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