Throughout his life of public vulgarity, chauvinistic misogynist and sexual abuser Donald Trump has always been unusually — and often inappropriately — fixated on beautiful blonde women.
Trump cheated on his first blonde wife, Ivana, with his second blonde wife, Marla, then cheated on his third (naturally brunette) wife, Melania, with blonde adult film star Stormy Daniels. Maybe that’s why Melania got her hair did to seem blonder?
Each of Trump’s blonde wives gave him a blonde daughter, but he’s always openly preferred First Daughter Ivanka to Second Best Daughter, the often-forgotten Tiffany.
However, he’s always sexualized both of them. During an appearance on the classic TV show Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, Trump mused about his then-newborn daughter Tiffany’s breasts emulating her mother’s.
SO gross and inappropriate. And SO on brand for Trump.
Tiffany escaped most of her father’s inappropriate behavior after her mother divorced Trump and kept her away from the family for most of her formative years. But Ivanka is a much different, and much more troubling, story.
Trump’s fixation on his eldest daughter has been the subject of many discussions.
Aside from his inappropriate comments about her body as she aged, Ivanka was often photographed with her father in poses more appropriate for married couples. Or men at strip clubs.
Once he divorced Ivana and she wasn’t around all the time, he just got creepier, even as Ivanka entered adulthood and should’ve set better boundaries.
There are plenty of examples of Trump talking about Ivanka almost like a teenager with a crush, as if she were the one who got away.
The most famous is their joint appearance on The View 20 years ago, when Trump quipped that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, “perhaps I’d be dating her.”
The hosts’ collective "so weird!" reaction should be everyone’s reaction. Instead, if you ask MAGA why they’re fine with this creepy relationship, they reply with something like, “You libturds are just jealous!”
They also will avoid any questions about the time Howard Stern interviewed Trump and got him to agree that Ivanka could be classified as a “piece of a--.”
Most normal fathers would probably react differently (meaning: with punches to the face) if another adult man sexualized his daughter in such a demeaning way, but Trump doubled down instead. And most normal daughters would be angry that their dads didn’t protect them when a predator went after them.
But during a joint Stern interview, Ivanka laughed when Stern called her father a “sexual predator.” Which still seems relevant when you recall that Stormy Daniels told the whole world that Trump said she resembled Ivanka.
Because what woman wouldn’t swoon right into the sheets after being told: “You remind me of my daughter, baby?”
I mean, ICK. Silkwood Shower Cleansing Level: 10.
Then there are all of the little girls from the Epstein Files who have alleged that Trump did unspeakable things to them — and they all resemble Ivanka, whether at 13 or 16.
Years of normalization of Trump’s sick behavior and his fixations going unchecked have manifested in him surrounding himself with blondes so he can look like a big stud. And now, a lot of the Ivanka wannabes seem to be working in the White House in roles that are far above their stations.
Hello, White House Wet Nurse Natalie Harp, aka the Human Printer, as she lugs what looks like the world’s biggest diaper bag around as she works out her granddaddy issues on Trump.
Trump seems to be openly in love with Natalie, admiring her legs as she walks away from him and telling everyone how great she is, probably because she still denies that he lost the 2020 election. Does he praise his wife in the same way? Of course not.
You have to wonder what Natalie Harp gets out of this Ivanka cosplay, besides a six-figure salary? You also have to wonder how many times a day he slips and calls her “Ivanka.”
Appearances will always matter more than experience, and he’s repeatedly referred to his appointees (male as well as female) as “straight out of Central Casting.” Most of them seem to have responded to an ad that read more like a twisted Tinder profile than a job posting.
“SEEKING: Hot Blonde resembling Ivanka Trump for White House Press Secretary. Experience on Newsmax and Fox News preferred.”
New White House Press Secretary Katie Zacharia holds her first press briefing at the White House in Washington, DC, US, October 13, 2026. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque
Trump has announced that the new press secretary is anti-vaxxer Newsmaxxer Katie Zacharia, who is very Ivanka-adjacent and has a VERY active Twitter account. You may have also missed the announcement that the new assistant Press Secretary is (a brunette) named — I kid you not — Beni Rae Harmony, who’s all of 24 and interned for Matt “Captain Venmo” Gaetz. The opposite of her surname, she once tweeted a photo of herself holding an AR-15 while wearing a “F--k Joe Biden” shirt.
Only the best people, said only Trump ever. It’s like he just gave a Hot Topic cashier a cushy White House gig thanks to her Florida connections.
We are living in such profoundly stupid and terrible times. The deliberate dumbing down of America continues with Katie Ivankaria happily treasoning for Trump on demand and gleefully declaring so on Twitter.
If I were a member of the press still allowed into the White House to attend briefings, my first question to Katie Zacharia would be, “WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH YOU, Ivanka Wannabe?”
Because I think we all know what the eff is wrong with Trump.
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