President Barack Obama finally made it to the Gulf coast to see effects of the BP oil leak Friday but that wasn’t soon enough for Jon Stewart. The Daily Show host returned from a two-week vacation and blasted the president and the oil company for failing to plug the leak while he was away.
“It is also now clear that BP’s latest idea to solve the oil leak is by waiting for Aquaman to talk dolphins into stuffing themselves into it,” Stewart opened his show by saying.
“Now they’ve tried a couple different ways to fix this damn thing. There was the ‘top hat’ idea where they were going to put a dome over the whole thing. That didn’t work. Then there was the ‘junk shot’ where they tried to fill the pipe with mud and golf balls and trash. And that didn’t work,” Stewart recalled.
As The Daily Show had begun its sixteen day vacation, a new idea emerged: the “top kill.” BP attempted to fill the blowout preventer with mud and then cement. But that also failed.
“Son of a bitch. That does it. If ‘top kill,’ the coolest possible containment strategy didn’t work, what do we do?” he wondered.
BP is now in the process of trying the “cut and cap” method. In this process, underwater robots will use diamond wire cutters to sever the riser pipe from the blowout preventer.
“We have underwater robots with diamond saws, and you went with that sixth?” exclaimed Stewart. “Because robots with diamond saws sounds like the first f**king thing I’d try.”
“But fear not, America, the President of the United States of America is on the case,” announced Stewart.
“I’m not going to rest or be satisfied until the leak is stopped,” Obama said on May 14.
“No sleep! No satisfaction! He will be on this thing 24 hours a day right after celebrating the great Connecticut Huskies women’s basketball championship,” Stewart joked. Obama had met with the Huskies on May 17.
Obama was back on task May 28. “I ultimately take responsibility for solving this crisis,” he said while visiting the Gulf.
But that same day, Obama also attended the Jewish-American heritage celebration. Just the day before, the president spent time congratulating the Duke Blue Devils on their national championship.
The Commander in Chief also found a spot in his day to celebrate Asian-American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month.
“How much heritage and basketball bullshit do you have to do in a month?” Stewart asked. “Get back to the motherf**king spill!”
This video is from Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, broadcast June 1, 2010.