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Satanists are furious that Boehner compared Ted Cruz to the Dark Lord

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On Wednesday night, former House Speaker John Boehner bluntly called GOP candidate Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh.”

When asked for his opinion about the Texas senator, Boehner said, “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

It turns out that the Satanic Temple agrees with Boehner’s sentiments — but they said there’s no way Cruz is the living incarnate of Satan.

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When asked by the Friendly Atheist, Satanic Temple spokesman Lucien Greaves bashed Cruz.

“Cruz’s failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith,” Greaves responded. “It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.”

The Satanic Temple is comprised of non-theistic activists who eschew religion and adhere to a set of humanistic tenets that promote compassion and reason.

Earlier this week, their Detroit chapter scuttled anti-abortion protests by performing street theater in macabre baby masks, wearing BDSM gear and denouncing “fetal idolatry.”

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2020 Election

Maddow warns Russia is interfering in the 2020 election in ‘exactly the same way’ as they did in 2016

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MSNBC's Rachel Maddow on Monday warned that Russia and the Republicans are running the "exact same play" against Democrats in 2020 -- and this time will be aided by the United States Justice Department.

"And they are playing it again already for the next election. And some of it is happening just like it did in 2016. And some of it is worse and I think it’s going to be more powerful than it was in 2016. In part because this is a second draft for these guys, right? They ran this play in 2016. They worked out some of the kinks," she explained. "Now they’ll do it again with the benefit of knowing what worked for them and what didn’t work the first time around. It’s a second draft. It’s going to be better and more polished."

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Marco Rubio says it was a ‘bad look’ for Trump to pick Doral for G7 — after several days of defending the decision

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On Monday, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) admitted that it was a "bad look" for President Donald Trump to call for hosting the next annual G7 summit at the Trump National Doral golf resort in Miami, Florida:

“Obviously you know, given everything that's going on, it was a bad look,” Rubio said of G7 at Doral, though he doubts Trump wanted to make money. “As a Floridian I thought it was great that they were going to come down, especially in June when we don't have as many visitors."

— Steven Dennis (@StevenTDennis) October 22, 2019

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‘You lost’: Internet mocks Trump for cheering on ‘great vote’ — that Republicans lost

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Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), who sits on the House Intelligence Committee accidentally mistook a satirical article with a fake transcript of President Donald Trump's call with Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky on July 25. While Schiff apologized for the error, Trump has called for his immediate impeachment.

Impeachment is outlined in the U.S. Constitution and the section of the founding document gives examples of what they meant by "high crimes and misdemeanors." It does not cite accidentally reading the wrong transcript aloud. Members of Congress cannot be impeached and censure is a toothless resolution that is meaningless.

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