Opinion

Sometimes, I sit back in breathtaking wonder struggling to consider what more could possibly be written about Donald John Trump that hasn’t already been said a million times and in a million different ways.

And then, he does something else that leaves me – and any thinking human being – gasping for adjectives to explain the actions of the worst person America has ever produced by a margin so vast it defies calculation.

Among the multiple bombshells that dropped in DC this month, there’s one extra big one that we can’t allow to get lost in the raging garbage fire news cycle Trump somehow created so that no one would trust anything they heard from the media.

Sen. Ron “Chutzpah” Wyden (D-OR, and my Senator, hence my nickname for him) released his highly anticipated report on the Senate Finance Committee’s four-year investigation into the American and Russian banks tied to Jeffrey Epstein’s international sex trafficking ring. The 67-page report specifically focuses on the failure of the Wall Street banks to blow the whistle on Epstein’s financial crimes, with one bank going as far as helping Epstein hide certain transactions to avoid suspicion.

Karoline Leavitt is leaving the White House podium at the end of this month, and the stated reason is that she wants more time with her young children. I actually believe that part, and that’s probably the only truthful thing she’s said during her disastrous tenure.

I don't doubt for a second that being a mother to two small kids while working that job is brutal. But I don’t take anything she says at face value, and I know that’s a terrible thing to say. But Leavitt has said so many terrible things that the fact I don’t give her the benefit of the doubt is something she earned, over and over and over again.

One of the most worrisome signs coming into Trump's second administration was that he right off named Susie Wiles as Chief of Staff. Wiles is a lot of things, including an unrepentant and cynical supporter of the most corrupt and incompetent president in history, but she is most certainly not incompetent. Indeed, her mastery of the political dark arts is best proven by the almost non-existent turnover within this oil spill of a White House.

That lack of turnover even within this hall of horrors has proven invaluable at the podium of the press room, as Karoline Leavitt has mastered a mix of precocious genius with mean girl petulance in navigating the barrage of scandals in Trump's wake. Leavitt, like Wiles, remains essential to Trump's stability. Unlike Wiles, Leavitt still constitutes a risk, despite her MAGA magnificence, especially headed into the midterms.

With all but two Republican senators voting to make Todd Blanche our Attorney General, Donald Trump just walked away from a $100 million fine for tax fraud that the IRS has been trying to collect from him for over a decade. This was the centerpiece of the “settlement” that Blanche wrote up that says that Trump, Uday and Qusay, Jared and Ivanka, Tiffany and Boulos, and even Barron will never again have to worry about paying taxes or ever being audited. It may well even extend to their business partners.

Meanwhile, last week Capital One bank submitted sworn testimony to a court that back in 2021 they shut down and closed 385 Trump-owned businesses because their fraud department — and its leader, a man with “extensive financial fraud law enforcement experience” — believed Trump’s businesses were engaging in illegal money laundering and the bank wanted nothing to do with it.

Something you can always count on from the Trumpublicans is hypocrisy, because nearly everything they say is just full-on obtuse projection language.

There truly isn’t enough space on the internet to break down every example of Trumpocrisy that we’ve witnessed on the daily, but an overwhelming amount of right-wing smokescreening bloviation is centered around sex. I’ve spent far too much time wondering what our planet might look like right now if all conservatives were supported by their parents and taught that their normal and healthy sexual feelings can be expressed safely with a consenting partner.

We now live in a country where the Republican Party has fully given itself over to authoritarianism with the razor-thin confirmation of Todd “Trumpsimp” Blanche as Attorney General.

You can tell they’re all super proud of their vote, because they held it in the wee hours of Saturday morning. None of them were coerced in any way into voting, obvs, especially not “Dr.” Bill Cassidy (R-LA), who sounded completely defeated and not at all terrified during his performative announcement from the Senate floor.

When President Donald Trump expressed serious interest in obtaining Greenland, it wasn't actually the craziest idea he's come up with. Many U.S. presidents, some of them fairly good ones, have bandied about the same thought for the same reasons: strategic defense and mineral availability.

Importantly, no other president proposed simply taking it, as Trump essentially did — a pattern of behavior that goes well beyond Greenland, but we digress. He's back at it, in Greenland again, only this time things are set to get even more heated. Heated enough to be less funny, more scary.

The Third Way has functionally declared its intention to purge the Democratic Party of progressives. They will not, in my opinion, get us the things progressives are working for and most Americans and the large majority of Democrats want:

— A national healthcare program that covers everybody
— Free or affordable college
— A clean environment and relief from climate wilding
— Reasonable taxation for billionaires and corporations
— Affordable housing and groceries
— Widespread unionization and an increased minimum wage
— An end to the brutality of ICE and the frantic construction of concentration camps.

The United States Department of Defense, an institution that once defined global stability, is an absolute mess of epic proportions. And you can blame 49 GOP senators for this abomination.

The man in charge, Pete Hegseth, has absolutely no business holding the job. And none of this would have likely happened if not for those 49 senators, who were aided in the crime by an equally incapable vice president, whose tie-breaking vote gave Hegseth a title he did not earn.

The Republican Party as we’ve known it officially died this week as Acting Attorney General Todd “Trumpsimp” Blanche’s nomination essentially became inevitable. The personal lawyer of a convicted felon adjudicated rapist Epstein Bestie will almost certainly be the Attorney General of the United States of America.

Blanche will be remembered as the biggest traitor of them all, selling his spine to Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin for a currently unknown reason. It’s clear all of the Republicans have a price, or else we’d either be enjoying President Joe Biden’s second term or President Kamala Harris’s first.

Of the innumerable Trump scandals in this or his previous administration, the mishandling or non-handling of the Epstein investigation manages to stand out which, given the scandal-a-day pace, all but puts higher functions into a comprehensive coma.

It would be fun to ask why the administration has gone to such great lengths to hide the matter and shown so little enthusiasm in prosecuting the co-conspirators were it not for Occam standing right there, aghast, shaving away: "Take a wild guess."