SNL’s Putin tells US to ‘relax’: America is ‘the most expensive thing Russia ever bought’
This week, Saturday Night Live opened with “a paid message from the Russian federation.”
A shirtless Vladimir Putin — played by SNL cast member Beck Bennett — began by congratulating the American people.
“We all made Donald Trump the 45th president of the United States,” he said, “Hooray! We did it, huh? And today many of you are scared and marching in the streets. You are worried that your country is in the hands of this unpredictable man, but don’t worry. It’s not.”
“Relax, I’ve got this. Putey’s going to make everything okay,” he said. Russia will take good care of America, he said, “It’s the most expensive thing we’ve ever bought.”
“Many Russians were skeptical of me at first, too,” Putin said. “But today, no one ever seems to hear from any of them. It’s like they’re gone. It always works out.”
Putin then brought on Kate McKinnon dressed as a shivering Russian peasant woman.
“My life is happy,” she nervously read from a scrap of paper. “I sleep in bed, not in carcass of dog.”
Putin went on to reassure the viewing audience that Trump will get better at his job.
“Do I think your new president is perfect? Perhaps not. But I will get him there,” he said.
“Listen, America, it’s going to be fine,” he said. “One day your country could be as happy as we are here in Russia. We are not divided like you because all of our people are so happy with their freedom.”
Watch the video, embedded below: