America: Let Us Be Known For Our Teeny Ding-Dongs
I was going to write a big, long take-down of this wretched article, but instead I’ll just mention how a friend of mine, every time she saw some douchebag driving a super he-man manly man vehicle on giant tires like a Hummer, would hold up her pinky finger and say, “This big.” No, it’s not the most polite thing to say. Or original, really. But it always made me wonder how it is that people who drive trucks like that—or worse, write articles in national newspapers where they mock hippies as if the hippies don’t have the bigger dick/wetter dick trump card—can be oblivious to the fact that people with bigger brains and healthier sexualities are mocking them. I suppose it doesn’t matter to assholes like that if they repulse the more thoughtful members of the female half of the human race, because those women are intimidating anyway. But to invite laughter strikes me as counterproductive to the goal of establishing yourself as a big man for everyone else to fear and respect.
I suppose Occam’s Razor would dictate that douchebags in Hummers really are just too dumb to be aware of what other people are thinking.