Every store I've ever been to on Black Friday has a pretty simple mechanism called "a line" that allows people to enter stores in a manner that's not deadly.


It seems like every year, someone at a Wal-Mart gets trampled in the mad rush for a $2.98 fullscreen copy of Wall Street. I understand that Wal-Mart's two main concerns are serving the customer in store and paying their employees fair, livable wages, but have they not heard of the concept of a controlled line? Best Buy manages this. Target manages this. Even JoAnne's Fabrics manages this. Somehow, the world's largest retailer hasn't gotten the message out to all of its subsidiaries that people in a panicked rush to take advantage of a time and quantity-restricted deal might rush through the doors if not controlled.

This certainly doesn't show the careful consideration and meticulous planning I've come to expect of the World's Greatest Store. Saddening.

Also, my only Black Friday anecdote - besides the fact that I got through the day managing only to return something, thereby making my contribution to our economy negative twenty-one dollars - is this, from Circuit City:

Man 1, looking at Guitar Hero: World Tour: "I ain't buying to no game with a microphone, that shit is gay."

Man 2: "I'm not gonna buy no game that's gonna make me gay, son."

(About the return thing: I apologize, President Obama, but I just don't have the cash.)