Bristol Palin said she “obviously discourages” teen pregnancy and knows that plans she previously made for herself will now forever be changed.
Teenagers need to prevent pregnancy to begin with – this isn’t ideal. But I’m fortunate to have a supportive family which is dealing with this together. Tripp is so perfectly precious; we love him with all our hearts. I can’t imagine life without him now.
In other words, it’s “obvious” that you shouldn’t take the greatest step in your life that fills it with joy and perfection and bliss and did I say perfection? Getting pregnant at 17 will complete you, girls, so don’t do it! That trifling boyfriend of yours will, the second you get pregnant, become so devoted to you that he’ll tattoo your name on his finger, and your mother will give you a year to plan the perfect wedding you’ve been encouraged to dream about since you could first turn a page in a bridal magazine. Having a baby in high school is so fucking great, so girls, don’t do it!
Pardon me if I find the whole situation disingenuous. The problem with teenage sexuality for right wingers is not that they’re too young per se, it’s that most kids will have to try on a few partners before they find one that fits well, and this sexual and romantic experimentation is what’s considered a problem. So the solution is clearly to make sure that kids who have sex get tied to their first partner through a baby, and preferably through marriage and a baby. Because fuck those kids; they don’t deserve happiness when so many of adults are grouchy and unfulfilled.