imageWere you aware that not-so-secret Kenyan Muslim Barack Hussein Obama is also the evilest man alive?


I will bet you were not, because you were too busy tracking down a good source for organic tofu and gangbang pornography for your alternative Fourth of July, which will be held on the graves of American soldiers. Naked. Being a liberal is so awesome.

Anyway, Obama is headed to Normandy for the 65th anniversary of D-Day. And because 95% of what he does is meant to be an affront to a.) white people, b.) all of America, c.) everyone else in the world except for Arab Islam terrorists, he's going to ban tour guides (and therefore regular people) from Normandy on what would be perhaps its biggest tour day ever.

The 65th Anniversary of D-Day is fast approaching. Barack Obama will attend the events on June 6th as George Bush did in 2004 for the sixtieth memorial service. Here is the rub, as of now Obama’s State Department has asked (read demanded) the French government not allow tour guide services to operate that day. It is a big day for Normandy tourism. Yet, the king will not allow those not connected with government to enjoy the day. Obama is very important you know. This is an unprecedented request. I hope the French come to their senses and deny it.

Note that there's no link in that excerpt, no source for the story. My initial assumption was that this was just so well-known in the land of patriotism and Quarter Pounders that the source didn't need to be linked. So, I did what any burgeoning statist would do - I Googled the story in a transparent attempt to destroy the author's life.

Every single blog or source talking about this links back to Big Hollywood. Now, far be it from me to impugn the journalistic integrity of a man whose major talent seems to be looking like a constipated Kiefer Sutherland, but, uh, really? Can I just write that John Boehner has instituted "Swimsuit Thursdays" for all of his young staffers?

Wait, John Boehner is misappropriating campaign funds to force his staffers to go-go dance on his newly installed office poles? Man, I'm glad I told myself this thing on the Internet that I will now treat as gospel truth. Thanks, me!