Colbert joins shill parade for gold: ‘100 coins earns you free life’
‘Conservative talk and gold go together like Obama and a Hitler mustache’
Conservative hosts like Glenn Beck and G. Gordon Liddy have been sponsored by gold brokers. On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert followed their lead by making his own ad for gold on his Comedy Central show.
“Nation, a quick reminder: don’t forget to pick up the latest issue of Sports Illustrated which hits newsstands today,” Colbert begins. “Folks, my making this cover proves you can accomplish anything when the Colbert Nation is behind you. That’s why our US speedskaters are going to bring home the gold!”
Colbert’s comments about his magazine cover are only a segue into a farcical attack on Glenn Beck, Fox News’ “King of Gold.” Beck has been shilling for gold in television commercials that air during his program — while at the same time drumming up fear and interest in gold during his show. (Earlier this month, Jon Stewart mocked Beck’s digging for gold on the Daily Show — watch the video here.)
“Speaking of gold,’ Colbert quips, “a lot of people are speaking of gold. And no one is speaking more than conservative talk show hosts.”
“Gold’s appeal is elemental,” Colbert croons. “It practically cries out to you from the periodic table. Ay, you! Yes that’s it. Yes, it is. Yes, conservative talk and gold go together like Obama and a Hitler mustache. As right-wing radio host and man-sized big toe Michael Smerconish told Politico, there’s a natural synergy between conservative talk radio listeners and gold. Although our first love will always be lead. See, we help you by frightening you, and right now we’re frightening you about the declining value of the US dollar. But gold will never lose its value. Did you know if you collect 100 gold coins, you get an extra life? Of course, no one pushes fear of economic collapse or gold better than Glenn Beck.
“So here are the three scenarios we could be facing, recession, depression or collapse,” he adds. “I like to call the 3-G system here for this, it’s uh, god, gold and guns.”
This video is from Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report, broadcast Dec. 15, 2009.