“Saturday Night Live” began Saturday’s show with a bit suggesting there may be more to the media obsession with the Tiger Woods scandal than just the famous golfer’s celebrity. The show opened with Sen. John Edwards, Sen. John Ensign and Gov. Mark Sanford apparently jealous of the coverage Woods has been getting.
“The three of us are here today because there’s something very wrong going on in this country. And we can no longer keep silent about it. Over the last two weeks, our national media has engaged in an orgy of coverage of professional golfer Tiger Woods and his alleged extramarital affairs. This coverage has been excessive, it has been lurid, and it has completely overshadowed coverage of our extramarital affairs,” lamented Sanford.
“Like Tiger Woods, we have broken our marriage vows but in addition, as officeholders, we have also violated the public’s trust. That’s a pretty big deal. Yet it seems the media couldn’t care less,” complained Ensign.
“Unlike Tiger’s girlfriend, mine was married. That’s pretty awful,” said Ensign.
“Excuse me, maybe I wasn’t clear,” interrupted Edwards. “But I had a love child, an illegitimate, out of wedlock, parents not married, baby bastard love child,” he said. “Don’t you people care? God almighty.”
The three cheaters sought to explaine the discrepancy. “Now, why this clear double-standard?” asked Sanford. “Is it perhaps racial? The fact that we’re white men and Tiger Woods is — I guess black, Asian, Polynesian, Cherokee,” Sanford continued.
“In any event, we pray this isn’t about race. Our nation has seen too much of that,” said Sanford.
The following video is from NBC’s Saturday Night Live, broadcast Dec. 12, 2009.
Fake Village People appear on SNL to tell Trump to stop using their music or they’ll shave Ivanka’s head
The fake Village People made a surprise appearance on "Saturday Night Live" to tell President Donald Trump to stop using their music at his rallies or they'll shave Ivanka Trump's head.
"If you have been watching the Trump rallies, you probably noticed Trump dancing to The Village People," said Colin Jost during the Weekend Update segment. "If you haven't, let's take a look."
He explained that the Village People had their own special message for the president. The group of SNL cast members came out dressed in traditional Village People outfits and sang their cease and desist for the president.
SNL does campaign ad asking what they’ll do without Trump to trash — then they have a revelation
"What is the news even going to be about now?" the Saturday Night Life cast joked, saying that without President Donald Trump.
The fake ad began saying that everyone knows it could be the most important election of our lives.
"And the two choices couldn't be more different," the ad continues. "Do we want four more years of Donald Trump or a fresh start with Joe Biden? Can we survive four more years of scandal, name-calling, and racial division? Or do we want a leader who unites the country? I want to vote for Biden because he's better, smarter. better and better."
But, the cast members confessed, "I'm worried, because if Donald Trump isn't president -- when what are they going to talk about? Like, what would our conversations even be? Because the only thing I talked about for four years is Donald Trump. Every single day I tell someone, 'Can you believe what Trump just said?' My entire personality is hating Donald Trump. If he's gone, what am I supposed to do? Focus on my kids again? No thanks. He changed the game. He called the attorney general he appointed mentally retarded. That's some next-level sh*t!"
Saturday Night Live’s Trump claims his secret COVID-19 plan is ‘under audit just like my taxes’
"Saturday Night Live" began this week's show with a recap of the presidential debate showing President Donald Trump confusing Kirsten Welker with Hoda Kotb, Mindy Lahiri, and at one point, even a waitress.
Alec Baldwin explained that the coronavirus loved him so much that it didn't want to leave his body because it was so beautiful.
He also explained that he couldn't share his coronavirus plan because it was still under audit like his taxes.
Jim Cary toned down his portrayal of Joe Biden from last week's over-the-top yell-fest.
"Learning to live with it? We're learning to die with it, man!" said the fake Biden, quoting the real Biden, but with a glint of Clint Eastwood.