Best. Daily Show. Ever? Jon Stewart opened his show Thursday night with a 15-minute parody of Fox News host Glenn Beck, lamenting what it means to be a progressive and capturing the exaggerated mannerisms of Beck to a ‘T,’ even donning the reading glasses that dangle down to the middle of his face.
“I’m glad you tuned in to today’s show,” Stewart opened. “It’s an important one. One that you and your family can’t afford to miss. Oh, you could miss it, but if you miss it… you’ll die.”
The video screen behind Stewart starts with a clip of Beck in a heated diatribe on progressivism. “Progressivism is the cancer in America and it is destroying our Constitution,” Beck groans, adding, “Progressives want to control every aspect of your life.”
“I didn’t know that’s what I wanted, but I guess I want to control every aspect of your life,” Stewart rejoins. His sentences are broken with periods of exaggerated ‘Beck’ mannerisms. “As a progressive I might say I think it’s a good idea for an agency to monitor pollution,” he continues. “But I guess what I really mean is it’s in the state’s interest that we be allowed to put a chip in your head that tells you when you can masturbate.”
“Total control,” Stewart says, echoing Beck. “In my America, nobody tells people when they can masturbate!”
The studio audience roars throughout the 15-minute skit, which appears below.
The following video is courtesy of Comedy Central and originally aired on Thursday, March 18, 2010: