If there are two things Stephen Colbert has learned from television news over the last couple of days, it's that the individual mandate is dead and that the health care debate is ultimately all about broccoli. The fact that neither of these things is true matters not a whit, apparently, to media pundits across the spectrum, from CNN's Jeffrey Toobin to Bill O'Reilly at Fox News.

On Wednesday night's The Colbert Report, true conservative Stephen Colbert announced that nobody, not even President "Baroccoli Obama" was going to make him eat his broccoli or his lima beans, take a nap even though he's not tired or kiss Grandma.

Watch the video, embedded via Comedy Central, below: