Jon Stewart: The U.S. needs a miracle to beat Russia in the 'Homophobic Olympics'
Jon Stewart 012114 [YouTube]

With the Winter Olympic Games fast approaching, Daily Show host Jon Stewart lamented on Tuesday that the U.S. was a long shot to beat host country Russia in the real competition -- the "Homophobic Olympics."

"We're running out of time," Stewart told correspondent Aasif Mandvi. "It's gonna take a Lake Placid hockey-like miracle to pull this thing out."

Stewart was worried that the "run-of-the-mill homophobia" in the U.S., which is showing signs of withering more each year, was no match for the anti-LGBT policies being enacted elsewhere in the world. Of particular interest was the "race" between Uganda and Nigeria to see who could have the most homophobic laws, with Nigeria coming out on top after ruling that anyone found to be leading a "gay organization" or "patronizing" gay people can be brought up on charges.

"What the f*ck?" Stewart marveled, before alluding to an old NBC show.. "They're not just going after Will; now they're going after Grace?"

But overall, Stewart said, Russia was the "gay-phobic country to beat this year," with both homefield advantage and President Vladimir Putin's tactical approach to intolerance, like his insistence that gay competitors and spectators can feel safe, as long as they "leave children alone."

"What the hell was that, Putin?" Stewart demanded. "That's like me saying, 'We have no problems with Russians. Just please, if you come here, don't f*ck our bears.'"

Undaunted, Mandvi produced a clip of Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett's (R) October 2013 interview in which he compared same-sex marriages to incest.

"Do you believe in ignorance?" Mandvi hollered a la Al Michaels. "Do you believe in ignorance?"

Watch Stewart and Mandvi break down the field, as posted online on Tuesday, below.