As surprised as he was to hear New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's (R) attempts to distance himself from former ally David Wildstein, Daily Show host Jon Stewart was positively taken aback to see national media outlets seemingly tripping over themselves to give Christie some space.
"Who are you people? Wait and see? Where's your rush to judgment?" Stewart asked. "Keep it down -- what if Nancy Grace hears you talking like this?"
Stewart admitted he couldn't help but be disappointed in his press "colleagues," saying that he's more used to corruption of government than pundits calling for more evidence in the ongoing investigations against Christie.
"If this 'measured approach' thing catches on, I'm out of a f*cking job," Stewart fretted.
However, Stewart said, Christie would look more credible if his administration had not been publicly slamming Wildstein.
"So Wildstein was a conniving, unathletic, carless masturbator -- who Christie decided to create a position for at the Port Authority because he was 'well suited to the task of playing a role in reforming the Port Authority in accordance with the governor's goals,'" Stewart said.
Watch Stewart's commentary, as posted online on Monday, below.