'Noah': Twitter conservatives outraged that film deviates from Bible's original English

Devout Christians are up in arms this morning about Darren Aronofsky's film Noah, despite the fact that the majority of them haven't seen it. They're upset because, in the words of one person on Twitter:

Aronofsky's script deviates from the biblical account, and many on Twitter are happy to point the curious to the "real" story:

Many churches have encouraged their congregants to retweet the following, line breaks be damned!

But just in case it was raining too hard Sunday morning for them to make it to actual church, they can ask their backup pastor:

And they don't disappoint:

Kevin McCarthy informs Brian Kilmeade of Fox News viewers' worst nightmare: "the movie is not a documentary," meaning the fact checkers will be out in full-force:

Not that some people out there aren't happy with the creative license Aronofsky exercised:

But the professional comedians aren't the only ones weighing in on the alterations to the biblical original. Conservative film critic Debbie Schlussel -- who has actually seen the film -- wrote that the film should be called "'Game of Thrones Noah,' 'The Noah-dashians,' 'Dysfunctional Family Noah.' Or just plain, 'NOT Noah.'"

Erick Erickson at Red State surveyed all of the deviations from scripture, declared "boy howdy!" and then proceeded to remind his readers that he "is not kidding" eleven times.

We are not kidding.

Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro objected, repeatedly, to the film's depiction of humanity as the planet's designated caretaker, and one of his followers agreed, pointing Twitter-followers the biblical verses in their original English:

Which isn't to say all of the responses to the film have consisted of ignorant trolling. Ever the self-promoter, Lars Von Trier used the occasion of the film's release to remind people that he's got one coming out too:

["Russell Crowe" on Shutterstock]