The speculation surrounding a 2016 presidential run by Hillary Clinton have gotten so preposterous, Daily Show host Jon Stewart said on Wednesday, that the media may as well start wondering if the new Star Wars movie will affect her chances.
"Not only does every event in the universe exert possible influence on a Hillary run, but a possible Hillary run exerts influence on every event in the universe," Stewart said.
Stewart also mocked Lynne Cheney, wife of former Vice President Dick Cheney, for wondering aloud on Fox News if Clinton secretly arranged for Vanity Fair magazine to publish an interview with Monica Lewinsky, who had an affair with former President Bill Clinton, in order to get the story "out of the way" early.
"Is it me, or did it just get crazy in here?" Stewart asked, before playing along with Cheney's logic. "'Yeah, hey Vanity Fair, it's Hillary. You know what I haven't been asked about recently? One of the most painful and humiliating experiences in my life. So I was wondering if you could publicly rehash it for me as part of an implausibly convoluted plan to give me the extra boost I do not need to defeat Joe Biden anyway."
At the same time, Stewart bemoaned not only the lack of a 2016 "dream matchup" pitting "antibiotic-resistant strep" against "the petrified exo-skeleton of Donald Trump's hair helmet" while news outlets seemingly built their campaign narratives around the thought of Clinton running against former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R).
"Thank God we fought a bloody war against England so that political power would no longer be consolidated but in one family," Stewart said. "Because in my mind, two just makes sense."
Watch the entire episode posted online by Hulu: