Well, this is fun.
On a Texas morning show some ladies started talking about how gay Michael Sam gay-kissed his gay boyfriend on not-gay ESPN and next thing you know – catfight meowr! hiss hiss! – and one of of them walked off in a huff because another one is being mean to her for being “racist” against the gay homosexual race.
Did I mention this happened in Texas?
The Broadcast appears to be one of those morning shows designed to provide lonely housewives with teevee friends in the hopes that, by filling up their lives with empty banter and chit chat and feel-good stuff, the housewives will put off hitting the bottle until 11AM.
Maybe sneak a teensy little snort at ten-thirty.
The show is a little bit The View, a tad Fox & Friends, a smidgen of Real Housewives of [fill in a city, any city] , and a whole lot of listening in on a conversation at a restaurant between four idiots who make up for their lack of knowledge about current affairs with strong opinions about those same current affairs.
So – like Crossfire – but with four S.E. Cupps.
On this episode, the seemingly smart one (Lisa Pineiro), who was off for a day, wants to rehash the gay kissing by strapping young NFL player story and leads off with a clip of a older sports anchor telling people to chill the hell out about the gays. When Pineiro mentions that an NFL player (doesn’t know his name, natch) was fined for making a derogatory tweet about Sam, the older common-sense looks-like-she-is-always-smelling-a-dead-mouse Suzie Humphreys rages that this is ‘Murica and she thinks people should be able to say any g-dam thing they want because this is ‘Murica.
Courtney Kerr ( the one with four year-old’s hairstyle which is supposed to be whimsical I guess) explains that making mean comments about gays is “racist,” just like that Clippers guy.
Meanwhile Amy Kushnir, who appears to be sitting there turning lumps of coal into diamonds with the sheer crushing force of her butt-cheeks, smolders and seethes before belching out a wingnut’s worth of “gay in my face,” “what about Tim Tebow,” “my children,” and gay agenda, proving that she does read stupider people than herself on the Twitter.
Then there is a debate about kissing, gay and not-gay, and Kushnir has had enough of Kerr’s shit and sass and she grabs her stuff and says, “I’m going to Midland,” which I believe is Texan for “I’m gonna go get drunk in my Escalade and I hate you I hate you I hate you.”
And this is how people in Texas learn about what is going on in the world, which explains so very much.
You can watch the low-information pecking party below courtesy of The Broadcast: