Jon Stewart says Congress is like ‘Sharknado 2’: It was supposed to suck all along
As Congress hurried to pass legislation before taking its summer recess, Daily Show host Jon Stewart reassured them that the American people wouldn’t think any less of them for failing — because it’s likely that they couldn’t do so.
“When you guys suck, it is not failure,” he said. “It is just you living up to our extremely low expectations. Congress is the Sharknado 2 of government. Of course it sucked. It was supposed to suck.”
But instead of focusing on infrastructure or immigration, Stewart found, House Republicans devoted most of their energy to arguing on behalf of their planned lawsuit against President Barack Obama, to the point that he poured himself some coffee in order to stay awake.
“That’s your priority?” Stewart asked. “Sure, thousands of immigrant kids are sleeping under bridges — which, by the way, are collapsing because of the highway structures funding bills — but if we don’t go on break without suing the president, we’ll never reach [Rep.] Charlie Rangel (D-NY) levels of relaxation on our break.”
Stewart also mocked Republican claims that the lawsuit was about principle instead of politics, singling out Rep. Jeff Duncan (R-SC) for boasting that he sent 21 Tweets to the White House outlining his position for “stopping this mess at the border.”
“I guess it is shocking, congressman, that the same medium Chris Brown uses to sh*t-talk Drake is not an effective legislative tool,” Stewart deadpanned.
While Republicans focused on “empty, time-wasting political theater,” Stewart observed, Democrats like Rep. Bill Pascrell (D-NJ) could only fume that these antics had left Congress with a lower approval rating than head lice.
“Good for you, head lice, good for you,” Stewart said. “And as for you, pubic lice, hang in there. Congress keeps going the way it’s going, you’ll get your shot.”
Watch Stewart’s commentary via Hulu below.