On last night’s episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert attacked conservative media outlet Breitbart’s handling of an article in which it incorrectly identified Barack Obama’s nominee for Attorney General as a lawyer who had defended the Clintons during Whitewater.
“This weekend,” Colbert began, “he named his choice to succeed Attorney General Eric Holder — US Attorney Loretta Lynch.”
He then cut to a clip of Lynch at a press conference, where she said, “I wake up every morning with protecting the American people as my first thought.”
“Her first waking thought is protecting the American people?” Colbert replied. “Apparently she’s got better things to do while she’s asleep. I’m sorry, I guess she’s too busy riding a unicorn to a test she’s late for — naked.”
“Folks,” he continued, “the fact is that Lynch just isn’t qualified for the job. I read all about it over the weekend when Breitbart journalist, and Wilford Brimley-tribute head, Warner Todd Huston blew the lid off the scandal that Lynch was ‘part of Bill Clinton’s Whitewater probe defense team in 1992.'”
“Kids, if you’re too young to remember, Whitewater was the Benghazi of Arkansas real estate deals.”
“This bombshell destroys Loretta Lynch’s credibility to be Attorney General,” Colbert added, “if it were true. But it turns out, [Huston] had the wrong Loretta Lynch.”
“This is a picture of Loretta Lynch, Attorney General-nominee,” he said, pointing to an image of a dignified black woman. “And this is the one who defended Clinton during Whitewater,” he said, pointing to an image of a white woman with a 1990s haircut.
“There’s just no way to tell these two women apart!”
But as soon as Huston “noticed the mistake,” Colbert said, “Breitbart issued a correction by leaving up the exact same headline and adding the word, ‘corrected.’ From there, it’s the exact same article about how Obama’s Loretta Lynch defended the Clintons, until you get to the very bottom of the article, where it reads, ‘Correction: the Loretta Lynch identified earlier as the Whitewater attorney was, in fact, a different attorney.'”
“So I’m giving a tip of my hat to Breitbart for breaking this news, finding out it was broken, but sticking with the story anyway.”
“Because,” he added, “no matter who she actually is, I don’t think a coal miner’s daughter has any place as attorney general,” referring to country singer Loretta Lynn. “Plus, why isn’t anyone talking about the time she stole Christmas?”
“So I salute Breitbart for not taking down a headline you know is false. You are ‘Craven Political Hatchet Men.'”
“Oh, they eventually took it down? My apologies,” he concluded. “They are ‘Craven Political Hatchet Men (Corrected).'”
Watch the entire segment on Breitbart via Colbert Nation below.
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