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America wins!: Breitbart alumni Dana Loesch and Chuck Johnson get into Internet slap fight

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Good news, America!

Two of the most reprehensible people on the Internet — and that is not an exaggeration — are duking it out; revealing Breitbart family secrets, opening up old wounds, and saying things neither of them  will ever regret saying because they are are the kind of people who will say anything for a website click and a buck because they are amoral soulless monsters.

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Dana Loesch, –whom you may remember from her start turn on CNN saying she would like to pee on dead Muslims, because she is both measured in her responses and classy at the same time — has had it up to here with Chuck C. Johnson, ‘journalist,’ abortion-watcher, rape victim re-victimizer, and claimer of having ‘The Autism,’ which excuses all of his crimes against ethics in gaming journalism.

What should have been a private tête–à–tête between these two obvious soulmates who both previously worked at Andrew Breitbart’s Inland of Broken Toys That Nobody Wanted In The First Place, seems to have its genesis in Chuck outing Bible-n-gun toting  American mom Holly Fisher.

According to our intrepid Chuck, Fisher seductively slipped the American flag  from around her shoulders to engage in some All-American adultery-banging with a Tea Party dude while her soldier husband was keeping America free so that Chuck Johnson could 1st Amendment-report on her aforementioned adultery.

Nobody ever said that freedom of speech and the press wouldn’t get ugly from time to time.

This enraged conservatives who, you may remember, showed considerable restraint when Bill Clinton got a blow job that one time.

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It was in all the papers, you should look it up.

Loesch took offense because she is BFF’s with her fellow gun/flag/Bible-toting sister in arms and unfollowed Johnson on Twitter — which is, like, 9/11 or Benghazi, or something maybe even worse.

Johnson rightfully took offense at the offensive unfollow and promised journalism jihad on Loesch on the Twitter:

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Screen Shot 2015-01-25 at 11.24.26 AM

As my grandmother used to say: “shit just got real.”

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Loesch took to the blog for her radio show — remember radio? — to say that all of Johnson’s accusations  can be explained as simple misunderstandings —  much like Fisher boinking the hunka-hunka Tea Party man-meat — and that Johnson is a big poopy head and she wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire and a Muslim.

Also, too, Loesch said it is a total coincidence that she unfollowed Chuck that day.  I know, weird, right? But then those things happen.

And then this:

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Screen Shot 2015-01-25 at 11.36.16 AM“Bring it”?

Consider it broughten:

I’m happy to enter this post and all email correspondence between myself, associates of Andrew Breitbart, and Dana Loesch as sworn testimony so that Loesch can sue me and we can call witnesses. Given that she sued the widow of Andrew Breitbart (see below) I don’t see why she won’t, and I welcome the opportunity to reveal all relevant confidential documentation. I’m limited legally in what I can reveal.  I’ll give you the news then I’ll give you my analysis.

And now d-list actor Adam Baldwin and teabagger/ultra-con/bigot f-list actor Nick Searcy have been drawn into the family squabble and for the first time in many years, I believe in God.

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Praise!


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WATCH LIVE: Trump addresses the nation after Iran retaliatory missile strike

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President Donald Trump will address the nation Wednesday morning on Iran’s attack on two military bases in Iraq hosting U.S. Armed Forces. The missiles were a retaliatory strike in response to Trump’s decision to assassinate General Qassem Soleimani.

The White House had signaled the president would deliver his address Tuesday night, but walked that back and the president, insisting “All is well!” in a Tuesday night tweet promised to speak Wednesday morning.

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Here are 11 of the most punchable faces of 2017

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Remember back when 2016 began and the world held so much promise and then a bunch of people in the Midwest got mad at Hillary Clinton because she didn't visit their state fair, eat a corn dog and admire their butter cow so they decided to toss a match in the septic tank by voting for Donald Trump to "shake things up"?

That, among other reasons, is how we got to where we are now in Trump Year One: Like A Plague, But Kinda Worse.

It has been a very weird year compared to the past few to the point where someone like Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Zodiac Killer) is barely a blip on our screen because he seems sort of "meh" compared to the daily tsunami of Trump atrocities that have us drowning in depression -- and depending upon Robert Mueller and Zoloft (Ask your doctor if ZOLOFT is right for you) to pull us through.

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WATCH LIVE: Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds WH briefing as Trump squabbles with Gold Star families

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As President Donald Trump's administration squabbles with the family of Sgt. La David Johnson and Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-FL) over the president's ham-handed attempt to offer condolences to Johnson's widow, many people are failing to ask why U.S. Army Green Berets were in Niger at all.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders is expected to receive questions about Niger and more queries about the administration's decision to go on the warpath against Wilson with false charges about a 2015 speech.

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