Daily Show host Jon Stewart blasted the plethora of Republican responses to the State of the Union address to open his show on Wednesday, combing through them until he found one worthy of his “Implodey” award for self-sabotage.
“How many f*cking people are at this tea party?” he asked in exasperation at one point, since he initially believed Tea Party Sen. Joni Ernst’s (R-IA) official rebuttal on behalf of the party would be it.
“That seemed like less of a response to the president’s address than an application essay to Nostalgia University,” Stewart said of Ernst’s remarks about growing up poor. “‘Nostalgia University: It was better when your dad went there.'”
Instead, Ernst was followed by not only Rep. Curt Clawson’s (R-FL) statement on behalf of the Tea Party, but individual responses by two prospective presidential candidates in Ernst’s fellow senators Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Rand Paul (R-KY).
Paul’s remarks criticizing “liberal elites” for wanting to allegedly “impose their wills” on his state seemed to irk Stewart.
“‘Liberal elites’?” the host scoffed. “You’re a doctor and a senator, with a 12-term congressman father and a first name synonymous with a Russian novelist. That’s pretty f*cking elite. So I guess the smear here is ‘liberal.'”
But Stewart instead gave the “award” to Cruz, who screwed up his own statement so badly — he tried to start over while airing it live — that he ultimately deleted it.
“Here’s a tip: If you’re looking to run for president, maybe you shouldn’t make your response to the State of the Union look like a ransom video,” Stewart said. “Or the part of the porno everybody fast-forwards through.”
Watch Stewart’s commentary, as posted online on Wednesday, below.
‘Absolute farce’: Trump White House bashed for declaring COVID-exposed Pence an ‘essential worker’ so he can campaign
Appearing on CNN early Sunday morning, an emergency room doctor from Michigan expressed disgust with the White House for labeling Vice President Mike Pence as an "essential worker" so he can continue to campaign for Donald Trump despite the vice president's office being rocked by a COVID-19 outbreak.
Following news the Pence Chief of Staff Marc Short and senior adviser Marty Obst among others in the Vice President's office have tested positive for novel coronavirus, the White House announced that the vice president would maintain his hectic schedule in the waning days before the election.
WATCH: Obama drowns Donald Trump in a flood of mockery in a brutally hilarious speech
Former President Barack Obama took the stage in Miami, Florida, for a drive-in rally where people could social distance safely. That didn't stop Obama from bringing the heat against the president, however.
Speaking to a honking crowd, Obama mocked Trump for the overwhelming ignorance and cruelty that has persisted throughout his four years in office.
"When the daily intelligence briefings are flashing warning signs about a virus, the president can't be AWOL," Obama said. "When Russians put bounties on the heads of our brave soldiers in Afghanistan, the commander in chief can't be MIA. He can't be somebody who doesn't read the briefings. Joe Biden would never call the men and women of our military suckers and losers. He knows those troops are somebody's husband, somebody's wife, somebody's kids, somebody's spouse, somebody's father. And when a hurricane devastates Puerto Rico, a president is supposed to help it rebuild, not toss paper towels withhold billions of dollars in aid until just before an election. We've got a president who actually suggested selling Puerto Rico."
Fake Village People appear on SNL to tell Trump to stop using their music or they’ll shave Ivanka’s head
The fake Village People made a surprise appearance on "Saturday Night Live" to tell President Donald Trump to stop using their music at his rallies or they'll shave Ivanka Trump's head.
"If you have been watching the Trump rallies, you probably noticed Trump dancing to The Village People," said Colin Jost during the Weekend Update segment. "If you haven't, let's take a look."
He explained that the Village People had their own special message for the president. The group of SNL cast members came out dressed in traditional Village People outfits and sang their cease and desist for the president.