Daily Show host Jon Stewart blasted the plethora of Republican responses to the State of the Union address to open his show on Wednesday, combing through them until he found one worthy of his "Implodey" award for self-sabotage.
"How many f*cking people are at this tea party?" he asked in exasperation at one point, since he initially believed Tea Party Sen. Joni Ernst's (R-IA) official rebuttal on behalf of the party would be it.
"That seemed like less of a response to the president's address than an application essay to Nostalgia University," Stewart said of Ernst's remarks about growing up poor. "'Nostalgia University: It was better when your dad went there.'"
Instead, Ernst was followed by not only Rep. Curt Clawson's (R-FL) statement on behalf of the Tea Party, but individual responses by two prospective presidential candidates in Ernst's fellow senators Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Rand Paul (R-KY).
Paul's remarks criticizing "liberal elites" for wanting to allegedly "impose their wills" on his state seemed to irk Stewart.
"'Liberal elites'?" the host scoffed. "You're a doctor and a senator, with a 12-term congressman father and a first name synonymous with a Russian novelist. That's pretty f*cking elite. So I guess the smear here is 'liberal.'"
But Stewart instead gave the "award" to Cruz, who screwed up his own statement so badly -- he tried to start over while airing it live -- that he ultimately deleted it.
"Here's a tip: If you're looking to run for president, maybe you shouldn't make your response to the State of the Union look like a ransom video," Stewart said. "Or the part of the porno everybody fast-forwards through."
Watch Stewart's commentary, as posted online on Wednesday, below.