With the expanding Republican presidential field seemingly begging him to stay on the show, Jon Stewart had to admit that the thought of Donald Trump running might entice him to keep hosting the Daily Show past August.
"They're all very colorful characters," Stewart conceded. "But for me, there can be only one F*ckface von Clownstick."
While Trump has been floating the idea -- again -- of campaigning for the GOP nomination, Stewart noted that he claimed to have a plan to defeat the Islamic State terrorist group during a Fox News interview, only to declare that he would not reveal it.
"Not because I don't have a foolproof plan; I do," Stewart said, impersonating Trump. "I have a foolproof plan that would work -- save thousands and thousands of lives. But I'm not going to tell you. I’m withholding it for now, because I am a tremendous a*shole."
While Trump is teasing campaign involvement, Stewart said, other new candidates like George Pataki and Rick Santorum are already lagging behind other likely hopefuls like South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, who claimed to be positive that Iran was lying about wanting a nuclear agreement because of his childhood experiences inside his father's pool hall.
"You know what? I can't even do the f*cking impression," Stewart said as he tried to imitate Graham. "That is so stunning. You're against a nuclear deal with the Iranians because they remind you of some South Carolina billiards hustlers you met when you were 8?"
But while Republican candidates were already making outrageous statements, the host argued, political pundits were quick to define Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders as being too weird to be taken seriously as a Democratic opponent for Hillary Clinton.
"The problem here isn't that Bernie Sanders is a crazy-pants cuckoo bird," Stewart said. "It's that we've all become so accustomed to stage-managed, focus-driven candidates that authenticity comes across as lunacy."
Unlike the excitable, if "unpolished" senator, he observed, Clinton was surrounded by image consultants who will encourage her to, for example, adopt a Southern accent when appearing in Graham's home state.
"Listen up, Secretary Clinton -- I'll do the Lindsey Graham impressions around here, thank you very much," Stewart scoffed.
Watch Stewart's commentary, as posted online on Thursday, below.
