Are you familiar with Senator John Thune of South Dakota?
Of course you are not.
First of all, he is from South Dakota, a state you last randomly thought about [looks at watch, does some quick mental calculations, consults calendar] never.
Secondly, he has been in the Senate since 2004, — preceded by six years in the House — with no major legislative accomplishments to his name, although I assume he has amassed quite the collection of “Participant” ribbons in his trophy case just for showing up to vote.
Occasionally you’ll hear Thune’s name pop up as a possible Presidential or Vice Presidential nominee, with him often being described as an “attractive candidate,” presumably because he has the bland good looks of a Montgomery Wards shirt and tie model circa 1967. Other than that, he smiles for the camera and stays out of the way of Tea Party arriviste Ted Cruz and surly middle school libertarian club president Rand Paul, trampling each other for a chance to bring the country back to its Constitutional origins — by which they mean when blacks were slaves and not presidents.
Unfortunately for Thune, his career plan of remaining that guy you went to high school with whose name you don’t remember — but he seemed kind of nice — took a turn for the dumb today because an intern left Thune’s Twitter account open on a laptop and John decided to Twitter-twat something out to the folks back home on their kerosene-powered “new-fangled computer machines.”
The guy Politico called “A gaffe-free spokesman for Republicans” wrote this:
Six million people risk losing their health care subsidies, yet @POTUS continues to deny that Obamacare is bad for the American people.
— Senator John Thune (@SenJohnThune) June 8, 2015
Six million people have insurance today through the Affordable Care Act because of subsidies from — in Duggar buddy Mike Huckabee’s term “Uncle Sugar” — that they otherwise would not have. Those subsidies, as well as the underlying structure of the ACA, could collapse depending on how the Supreme Court decides King v. Burwell.
Did I mention that these people pitched in to gut the ACA?
So , essentially, POTUS (the black guy) gave these people a life raft, Republicans are trying to take a knife to it in the middle of the ocean, and Thune wants to blame Obama if they drown.
Is Thune evil, stupid, or mendacious?
Magic 8-ball says: “He’s dick.”
So we’ll go with all three, just to be safe.
WATCH LIVE: Trump addresses the nation after Iran retaliatory missile strike
President Donald Trump will address the nation Wednesday morning on Iran’s attack on two military bases in Iraq hosting U.S. Armed Forces. The missiles were a retaliatory strike in response to Trump’s decision to assassinate General Qassem Soleimani.
The White House had signaled the president would deliver his address Tuesday night, but walked that back and the president, insisting “All is well!” in a Tuesday night tweet promised to speak Wednesday morning.
Here are 11 of the most punchable faces of 2017
Remember back when 2016 began and the world held so much promise and then a bunch of people in the Midwest got mad at Hillary Clinton because she didn't visit their state fair, eat a corn dog and admire their butter cow so they decided to toss a match in the septic tank by voting for Donald Trump to "shake things up"?
That, among other reasons, is how we got to where we are now in Trump Year One: Like A Plague, But Kinda Worse.
It has been a very weird year compared to the past few to the point where someone like Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Zodiac Killer) is barely a blip on our screen because he seems sort of "meh" compared to the daily tsunami of Trump atrocities that have us drowning in depression -- and depending upon Robert Mueller and Zoloft (Ask your doctor if ZOLOFT is right for you) to pull us through.
WATCH LIVE: Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds WH briefing as Trump squabbles with Gold Star families
As President Donald Trump's administration squabbles with the family of Sgt. La David Johnson and Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-FL) over the president's ham-handed attempt to offer condolences to Johnson's widow, many people are failing to ask why U.S. Army Green Berets were in Niger at all.
White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders is expected to receive questions about Niger and more queries about the administration's decision to go on the warpath against Wilson with false charges about a 2015 speech.