Urgent: in order to play this game you must have an extremely high alcohol tolerance or, ideally, be an alcoholic, though a few years short of having a failing liver.
Also, in order to not induce liver failure, you must have eaten a full meal. And your drinking game must include water (see below).
Now, without any further ado, we present the final night of the 2016 RNC drinking game.
- Drink a full glass of water every time the audience breaks into a USA! USA! chant.
Take a shot:
- Every time a celebrity you’ve never heard of speaks.
- Every time said celebrity states that they are willing to risk their non-existent career for their political convictions.
- Every 10th time the audience dances whiter than you ever feared possible.
- Every time Rick Perry compares a veteran to a tall glass of water or any beverage.
- Every 5th time Ivanka Trump fulfills a role usually fulfilled by the nominee’s spouse.
- Every other time Trump implies that the incest taboo is the only thing standing in the way of his dating Ivanka.
Take a dainty sip of beer or wine:
- Every time the audience chants “lock her up!” about Hillary Clinton.
- Every time he calls Hillary Clinton “crooked Hillary.”
- Every time he mentions, “The Wall.”
- Every time Trump may or may not be plagiarizing David Duke or Alex Jones.
Drink an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol:
- When the audience claps, chants or dances in rhythm. (Don’t worry. It’s not gonna happen)
- When Trump starts discussing his policies. (Don’t worry. It’s not gonna happen… Or if he does, you’ll want to be unconscious, if not dead).