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Samantha Bee shreds ‘Dollar Store Rambo’ at RNC: ‘Cleveland police have a hard enough job to do’

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When Cleveland, Ohio, was bidding on the Republican National Convention to be held in their city two years ago, Samantha Bee described it as an easy listening concert hosted by Jeb Bush. Now it’s the apocalypse as a “rough beast slouches towards Cleveland,” Bee’s voiceover said as footage of Donald Trump appeared.

The disappointing thing about the RNC is that it nearly took an act of God to get the city’s police what they needed to be prepared.

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“We’re screwed,” Steve Loomis with Cleveland’s Police Patrolmen’s Association told her. “I have forbidden my friends and family for going downtown during the convention. It’s a very difficult spot for these police officers to be in. We’re going to be stuck in the middle of two groups of very passionate people. Mr. Trump does bring a certain, additional spice to the convention.”

After the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile and the shooting deaths of three police officers in Baton Rouge and five in Dallas, increased violence is the worst thing that could happen for everyone, including police, citizens, community organizers, honestly, anyone. Naturally, supporters of Trump heeded that call and decided to come to the GOP convention with their arsenal.

“Violence is bad for everyone. Well, almost everyone,” Bee said, before showing a clip of Donald Trump on “60 Minutes” explaining how we needed toughness, strength and President Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are weak and he demanded law and order. “The people providing law and order this week have one tinsey request: Can the amateurs please leave their f*cking guns at home?”

“Look, you Dollar Store Rambo, the Cleveland police have a hard enough job to do between calming belligerent bikers and resisting the urge to punch Code Pink in the face,” Bee continued. “They’re also sweating under 50 pounds of armor because madmen with long guns have been murdering cops just because they’re cops. So, I’m sorry, sir, but they just can’t with your Second Amendment foolishness. Not today! Listen to the cops that will save you when the sh*t goes down and you’re running away in your pee-stained mom jeans, okay?”

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When it comes to the men in blue lining the streets of Cleveland’s RNC, however, Bee’s funny take isn’t too far off.

“The men and women of Cleveland’s police department are going to do the absolute best that they can with the resources, training and equipment that they’ve been given. That being said, they haven’t been given enough of any of that,” Loomis continued.

Bee clarified that since the interview, the city did scramble to come up with the things needed for the officers trying to protect the city.

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Loomis said that protesters try to do anything they can to antagonize the police. They bring water guns in filled with urine or bleach. But Bee has faith in the city to withstand the Trump-quake.

“We’re going to be okay! Probably,” Bee claimed.

Watch the video below for more, including an excellent moment when Loomis tells Bee that she’d be a great undercover hooker:

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Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. Like you, we here at Raw Story believe in the power of progressive journalism — and we’re investing in investigative reporting as other publications give it the ax. Raw Story readers power David Cay Johnston’s DCReport, which we've expanded to keep watch in Washington. We’ve exposed billionaire tax evasion and uncovered White House efforts to poison our water. We’ve revealed financial scams that prey on veterans, and efforts to harm workers exploited by abusive bosses. We’ve launched a weekly podcast, “We’ve Got Issues,” focused on issues, not tweets. Unlike other news sites, we’ve decided to make our original content free. But we need your support to do what we do.

Raw Story is independent. You won’t find mainstream media bias here. We’re not part of a conglomerate, or a project of venture capital bros. From unflinching coverage of racism, to revealing efforts to erode our rights, Raw Story will continue to expose hypocrisy and harm. Unhinged from corporate overlords, we fight to ensure no one is forgotten.

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Trump approves of North Korea missile tests: ‘I have no problem’ because they’re just ‘short-range missiles’

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On Thursday, in conversation with reporters, President Donald Trump said that he had 'no problem' with North Korea's new round of missile tests.

"Short-range missiles, we never made an agreement on that," said Trump. "I have no problem, we'll see what happens, but these are short-range missiles. They're very standard."

The thought that short-range missiles would still be capable of hitting our allies in the region, like South Korea and Japan, does not seem to have occurred to him.

Watch below:

Trump says he has "no problem" with North Korea testing missiles because they are just "short-range missiles" that are "very standard." pic.twitter.com/fdKtQ6yrBE

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Elections 2016

Russian Twitter propaganda predicted 2016 US election polls

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When Robert Mueller completed his long-awaited investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election, he left many questions unanswered.

But one conclusion was unequivocal: Russia unleashed an extensive campaign of fake news and disinformation on social media with the aim of distorting U.S. public opinion, sowing discord and swinging the election in favor of the Republican candidate Donald Trump.

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Elections 2016

Beto O’Rourke calls for a ‘war tax’ in release of health care plan for veterans

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The Democratic presidential candidate uses his eighth policy announcement to focus on an area that he prioritized in Congress.

Democratic presidential candidate Beto O'Rourke on Monday morning released a plan to improve the lives of veterans, returning to an area of priority during his time in the U.S. House for his latest 2020 policy rollout.

In keeping with measures he supported in Congress, the plan calls for a "responsible end" to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan — reinvesting $1 out of every $2 saved in veterans programs — and the creation of a Veterans Health Care Trust Fund for each future war. The fund would be paid for by a "war tax" on households without service members or veterans.

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