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Samantha Bee shreds ‘Dollar Store Rambo’ at RNC: ‘Cleveland police have a hard enough job to do’

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When Cleveland, Ohio, was bidding on the Republican National Convention to be held in their city two years ago, Samantha Bee described it as an easy listening concert hosted by Jeb Bush. Now it’s the apocalypse as a “rough beast slouches towards Cleveland,” Bee’s voiceover said as footage of Donald Trump appeared.

The disappointing thing about the RNC is that it nearly took an act of God to get the city’s police what they needed to be prepared.

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“We’re screwed,” Steve Loomis with Cleveland’s Police Patrolmen’s Association told her. “I have forbidden my friends and family for going downtown during the convention. It’s a very difficult spot for these police officers to be in. We’re going to be stuck in the middle of two groups of very passionate people. Mr. Trump does bring a certain, additional spice to the convention.”

After the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile and the shooting deaths of three police officers in Baton Rouge and five in Dallas, increased violence is the worst thing that could happen for everyone, including police, citizens, community organizers, honestly, anyone. Naturally, supporters of Trump heeded that call and decided to come to the GOP convention with their arsenal.

“Violence is bad for everyone. Well, almost everyone,” Bee said, before showing a clip of Donald Trump on “60 Minutes” explaining how we needed toughness, strength and President Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are weak and he demanded law and order. “The people providing law and order this week have one tinsey request: Can the amateurs please leave their f*cking guns at home?”

“Look, you Dollar Store Rambo, the Cleveland police have a hard enough job to do between calming belligerent bikers and resisting the urge to punch Code Pink in the face,” Bee continued. “They’re also sweating under 50 pounds of armor because madmen with long guns have been murdering cops just because they’re cops. So, I’m sorry, sir, but they just can’t with your Second Amendment foolishness. Not today! Listen to the cops that will save you when the sh*t goes down and you’re running away in your pee-stained mom jeans, okay?”

When it comes to the men in blue lining the streets of Cleveland’s RNC, however, Bee’s funny take isn’t too far off.

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“The men and women of Cleveland’s police department are going to do the absolute best that they can with the resources, training and equipment that they’ve been given. That being said, they haven’t been given enough of any of that,” Loomis continued.

Bee clarified that since the interview, the city did scramble to come up with the things needed for the officers trying to protect the city.

Loomis said that protesters try to do anything they can to antagonize the police. They bring water guns in filled with urine or bleach. But Bee has faith in the city to withstand the Trump-quake.

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“We’re going to be okay! Probably,” Bee claimed.

Watch the video below for more, including an excellent moment when Loomis tells Bee that she’d be a great undercover hooker:

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Elections 2016

Vietnamese women strive to clear war-era mines

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Inching across a field littered with Vietnam war-era bombs, Ngoc leads an all-women demining team clearing unexploded ordnance that has killed tens of thousands of people -- including her uncle.

"He died in an explosion. I was haunted by memories of him," Le Thi Bich Ngoc tells AFP as she oversees the controlled detonation of a cluster bomb found in a sealed-off site in central Quang Tri province.

More than 6.1 million hectares of land in Vietnam remain blanketed by unexploded munitions -- mainly dropped by US bombers -- decades after the war ended in 1975.

At least 40,000 Vietnamese have since died in related accidents. Victims are often farmers who accidentally trigger explosions, people salvaging scrap metal, or children who mistake bomblets for toys.

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Elections 2016

Chief Justice John Roberts issues New Year’s Eve warning to stand up for democracy

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In a progressive welcoming move, Chief Justice John Roberts issued his New Year's Eve annual report urging his fellow federal judges to stand up for democracy.

"In our age, when social media can instantly spread rumor and false information on a grand scale, the public's need to understand our government, and the protections it provides, is ever more vital," he wrote. "We should celebrate our strong and independent judiciary, a key source of national unity and stability."

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Trump’s next 100 days will dictate whether he can be re-elected or not — here’s why

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According to CNN pollster-in-residence Harry Enten, Donald Trump's next 100 days -- which could include an impeachment trial in the Senate -- will hold the key to whether he will remain president in 2020.

As Eten explains in a column for CNN, "His [Trump's] approval rating has been consistently low during his first term. Yet his supporters could always point out that approval ratings before an election year have not historically been correlated with reelection success. But by mid-March of an election year, approval ratings, though, become more predictive. Presidents with low approval ratings in mid-March of an election year tend to lose, while those with strong approval ratings tend to win in blowouts and those with middling approval ratings usually win by small margins."

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