If Donald Trump picks former House speaker Newt Gingrich as his running mate, it will be a truly historic ticket.
After all, we’ve never seen a presidential campaign in which both a presidential and vice-presidential nominee have each been married to three different women.
To help you get acquainted with the long and sordid marital histories of both Trump and Gingrich, we’ve put together a quiz about the candidates and their wives that will really show you the incredible depth of character and love of family that both men possess.
Just kidding: It will actually show both of them are disgusting slimebags.
Without further ado, let’s meet the candidates:
- Donald Trump: Trump was first married to model Ivana Zelníčková in 1977, before divorcing her in 1992. One year later he married Marla Maples, the woman with whom he’d been having an affair while married to Ivana. This marriage ended in 1999, and Trump subsequently married former model Melania Knauss in 2005.
- Newt Gingrich: Newt first got married in 1962 at the age of 19, when he got hitched to Jackie Battley, his 26-year-old former high school geometry teacher. Gingrich left Jackie in 1980 while she was recovering from cancer because he was having an affair with Marianne Ginther, whom he married just six months after his divorce was finalized in 1981. This marriage was also not to last, as Gingrich in the 1990s subsequently had an affair with congressional staffer Callista Bisek, whom he married in 2000 — once again, just months after finalizing his divorce with Marianne.
Now let’s meet the wives:
- Ivana Trump was married to Trump from 1977 through 1992. A Czech-American former fashion model, Ivana’s marriage to Trump ended thanks to the notorious tabloid affair he was having with Marla Maples.
- Marla Maples was married to Trump from 1993 through 1999. She said their marriage ended because they “didn’t bring out the best” in each other.
- Melania Trump married The Donald in 2005. The Slovene-American is a former model and current jewelry and watch designer.
- Jackie Gingrich was Newt’s high school geometry teacher. She married him when she was 26.
- Marianne Gingrich started having an affair with Newt while Jackie was suffering from cancer. They divorced in 1999.
- Callista Gingrich was an ex-Congressional staffer who began seeing Gingrich in the 1990s. She has been married to Newt for 16 years now.
Now, let’s play the game! Each of these quotes was either said by one of the candidates’ wives or was said about one of the candidates’ wives. It’s your job to correctly match the quote with the wife. Answer key is posted below the questions.
- “As long as you come here legally and get a proper job… we need immigrants. Who’s going to vacuum our living rooms and clean up after us? Americans don’t like to do that.”
- “You know and I know that she’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of a president.”
- “He said the problem with me was I wanted him all to myself… He was asking me for an open marriage, and I wouldn’t do it.”
- “We know the truth. He’s not Hitler. He wants to help America.”
- “Nice tits, no brains.”
- “She’s the single most self-centered person I’ve run into in politics—it’s all about her. They do these movies together, and she does a word count: she has to have the same number of words on camera as he does or they have to reshoot.”
- Ivana Trump said this, showing she doesn’t hate all immigrants, especially the ones who clean up after her.
- Longtime Newt Gingrich friend Leonard “Kip” Carter claims this is what Newt told him about his first wife Jackie Gingrich.
- This is Marianne Gingrich’s account of what Newt told her while he was having an affair with Callista
- Melania Trump said this about Donald, in what be the least persuasive spousal endorsement ever made.
- This is what Trump reportedly said about Marla Maples after the couple separated.
- Will Rogers, a former Iowa strategist for Gingrich’s 2012 presidential run, said this about Callista Gingrich in an interview with The New Yorker.