On Friday morning, the Wall Street Journal posted a link on Twitter to a feature detailing analysts’ estimates of how the stock market would respond to an “all-out nuclear war.”
Analysts are trying to work out what happens to markets in the event of an all-out nuclear war https://t.co/hGEOi45G44
— Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) August 11, 2017
Of course, in the event of an “all-out nuclear war,” much of the continental U.S. would become uninhabitable. Whatever was left of civilization would be miles underground, disconnected from other pockets of survivors and probably much more concerned with finding uncontaminated air and water than about how their 401Ks are doing.
Most Twitter users couldn’t believe what they were reading.
Stock market will drop to zero on account of everybody being dead. There, analyzed.
— Keith Cambridge (@BelfArcane) August 11, 2017
Except for cockroaches and Goldman Sachs.
— Newburgh (@jamesrubyworks) August 11, 2017
Well, according to the Mad Max movies, clean water will become the hot new commodity.
— Paul Witham (@pwitham11) August 11, 2017
— darth:™ (@darth) August 11, 2017
Can you add a little sign that says "the poem was added later"?
— Patti Jones (@DrPattiJones) August 11, 2017
In the event of an all out nuclear war, the markets will be 100% irrelevant. The nuclear winter if survivable, won't be civilized.
— Winterkewl (@KristaferVale) August 11, 2017
I doubt people will be focused on trading stocks after a nuclear war starts.
— Vicki Sando (@SandoVicki) August 11, 2017
You're pricing out the deaths of billions of people, and you didn't even do it right. Wtf.
— Jonathan M. Katz 听不懂 (@KatzOnEarth) August 11, 2017
Can cockroaches purchase stocks? And operate corporations?
— ❄Tiff❄ (@tifftakesoff) August 11, 2017
My analysis comes to the conclusion that they would be f*cked beyond recognition. https://t.co/VoFBMxLnXd
— Mr. Ezil Galoth (@DrWutt) August 11, 2017
They already do 😂
— Renee Hernandez (@Jahmai11) August 11, 2017
We have plunged into nuclear winter, cannibals roam the streets, I'm selling jewelry made out of human teeth on etsy. How's my portfolio?
— Niles Stuck (@NilesStuck) August 11, 2017
But her emails…
— clever·ish (@WiGovPR) August 11, 2017