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‘The Shaggy defense!’: Internet loses it after Ted Cruz doubles down on claim person who liked porn ‘wasn’t me’

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The fallout from Ted Cruz’s personal Twitter account “liking” a hardcore porn video (of the “stepmom” genre, nonetheless) continued Wednesday, with the Republican senator from the great state of Texas appealing to CNN to insist the person caught with their pants down (so to speak) “was not me.”

“It was not me,” Cruz told Dana Bash, insisting the incident was “an honest mistake.”

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“I promise you, the staffer feels terrible,” Cruz said of the person who allegedly “liked” the video under his name.

Internet users on Wednesday noticed a similarity between Cruz’s excuse and the 2000 pop single “It Wasn’t Me,” by the reggae artist Orville Richard Burrell, more commonly known as Shaggy. In that hit, the Jamaican-American denies—despite all evidence to the contrary—that he cheated on his girlfriend with another woman.

The “Shaggy defense” was coined in 2008 by Slate’s Josh Levin, who at the time was reporting on R&B singer R. Kelly’s child pornography trial.

“I predict that in the decades to come, law schools will teach this as the ‘Shaggy defense,'” Levin wrote. “You allege that I was caught on camera, butt naked, banging on the log cabin floor? It wasn’t me.”

In posts, Twitter users were quick to relate Cruz’s denial with the early aughts classic, with one even asking,” please mash this up w shaggy. now, internet. now.”

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Thankfully for us, the Internet listened:

Read some more replies, below:

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Bless you, Internet.


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DC’s football team blasted for tweet against racism: ‘They’re called the Washington PR Stunts now’

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In a startling moment of tone-deaf responses, the Washington Redskins took part in the #BlackOutTuesday posts, where many showed solidarity with the Black Lives Matter protesters marching to stop police brutality of people of color. Given the racist history of Redskins owner Dan Snyder and the protests over the team's name, some are calling it another example of failed PR stunts.

https://twitter.com/Redskins/status/1267918269798850563

"Teams with racial slurs for names should really sit out racism protests," explained user Dennis Perkins.

Teams with racial slurs for names should really sit out racism protests.

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‘Egregious violation of his oath’: Former inspector general calls on Congress to impeach Bill Barr for attacking peaceful protesters

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On Tuesday, former Justice Department Inspector General Michael Bromwich urged the House of Representatives to begin impeachment proceedings into Attorney General William Barr, accusing him of an "egregious violation of his oath."

Bromwich's remark came in response to reports that Barr personally ordered authorities to forcibly clear peaceful protesters out of the area around the White House, using gas and rubber bullets, before President Donald Trump walked to the nearby church.

The House should immediately initiate proceedings in re The Impeachment of Attorney General William Barr. This is simply the most recent egregious violation of his oath to protect and defend the Constitution. https://t.co/cwsgoupSLp

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‘The worst is yet to come’: Leading conservative issues blistering argument for defeating Trump and his GOP enablers

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George F. Will, who turned 79 on May 4, is among the most prominent conservative journalists in the United States — although he has been a vehement critic of Donald Trump’s presidency and even left the Republican Party because of it. And Will’s most recent Washington Post column is especially scathing: the Never Trumper stresses that voting the “crybaby in chief” out of office in November is crucial in order to reverse the country’s “downward spiral.”

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