In an extended monologue on Wednesday, “Late Night” host Seth Meyers nailed why the Trump administration is really just a group of “eighth grade girls,” detailing how the president’s team deflect and backstab like teenagers.
Noting Jeff Sessions’ repeated claims he “does not recall” his contacts with Russian and other elements reportedly under investigation by special counsel Robert Mueller, Meyers argued the Trump team’s “only defense is literally that they were too incompetent to collude.”
“You’re talking about a presidential campaign and you’re making it sound like a prom committee,” Meyers joked. “We sent Ashley to get crepe paper and she came back with toilet paper, then the band backed out at the last second, and that’s why Ashley met with the Russians!”
Meyers later turned to new accusations against top Trump aide and son-in-law Jared Kushner who reportedly forwarded an email from WikiLeaks to Trump’s son Donald Trump Jr., despite telling investigators—under oath—he had no knowledge of the campaign’s correspondence with the self-proclaimed transparency organization.
“All of this doesn’t necessarily prove collusion, but think about it like this: if Debbie says she didn’t go to Karen’s house, but it turns out she was at Karen’s house, and Sheila says she wasn’t at Karen’s house, and it turns out she was at Karen’s house, eventually you gotta wonder: What the f*ck is going on at Karen’s house?” Meyers riffed.
“It’s so amazing that these two are the ones that fell ass-backwards into a potential criminal conspiracy,” Meyers said, referring to Trump Jr. and Kushner. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe Eric is the smart one.”
Referencing reports that Kushner failed to disclose the existence of a private email server, Meyers blasted top Trump officials for “doing everything they attacked Hillary for!”
“We’re like a week away from Kushner losing his mind over some balloons,” Meyers said.
The “Late Night” host pointed to a Vanity Fair article that quoted a White House aide telling reporters: “Jared is the worst political adviser in the White House in modern history. I’m only saying publicly what everyone says behind the scenes at Fox News, in conservative media, and in the Senate and Congress.”
“When you put the slightest amount of pressure on them, the Trump team stabs back like eighth grade girls,” Meyers said.
“Everybody knows Jared is shadier than S” he continued. “Oh, hi Jared! Are you going to the party? It’s at Karen’s house.”
Watch: Hong Kong protesters gather for mass rally — in test of pro-democracy movement’s support
Tens of thousands of Hong Kong democracy activists gathered Sunday for a major rally to show the city's leaders their protest movement still attracts wide public support, despite mounting violence and increasingly stark warnings from Beijing.
Ten weeks of demonstrations have plunged the financial hub into crisis with images of masked black-clad protesters engulfed by tear gas during street battles with riot police stunning a city once renowned for its stability.
Communist-ruled mainland China has taken an increasingly hardline tone towards the protesters, decrying the “terrorist-like” actions of a violent hardcore minority among the demonstrators.
Workers were ordered not to protest or show any ‘resistance’ at Trump rally in Pennsylvania
Workers in attendance at President Donald Trump's rally at a Shell plant in Pennsylvania on Tuesday were ordered not to protest or do "anything viewed as resistance" during the event.
That's according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, which reported late Friday on the strict instructions employees were given by their bosses ahead of the event.
"No yelling, shouting, protesting, or anything viewed as resistance will be tolerated at the event," read orders from one contractor. "An underlying theme of the event is to promote good will from the unions. Your building trades leaders and jobs stewards have agreed to this."
Donald Trump and the Republican Party hate America: It’s time to say it out loud
For most of modern political history, the Republican Party has used patriotism — an odd and obfuscating sentimentality — as a weapon to shame critics of American foreign policy, and turn the general public against dissidents who reject the folly of Empire maintenance through violence. Samuel Johnson’s excoriation — made famous by Bob Dylan — that “patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels” always seemed accurate in both its denunciation of the manipulative emotion itself, and also of those who take advantage of it for political expediency.
America has collapsed into a prone position, however, where the scoundrels are so brazen in their inhumanity, so bold in their indifference to suffering, and so barbaric in their refusal to compromise for the sake of their own country that only their own language can aptly describe them.