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‘Gorging on the corpse of Lady Liberty’: Colbert hilariously mocks Fox News host Jeanine Pirro’s unhinged rant

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CBS’ Stephen Colbert on Monday employed his spot-on impression of Fox News host “Judge” Jeanine Pirro after the Donald Trump loyalist delivered a diatribe of epic (and “disturbing“) proportions last weekend.

In a New York Times profile, published Sunday, it was reported that Pirro recently spent “more than an hour” at the White House “whipping up the president against Robert Mueller,” the special counsel leading an investigation into Russian collusion with the Trump campaign.

“It’s his dream come true! A live performance of Fox News,” Colbert exclaimed. “In the commercial break, they even sold him self-lubricating catheter.”

“The Late Show” host noted Trump “eventually got tired of her screed”—but the president’s short attention span didn’t phase the Fox News anchor.

“Judge Pirro has a need, a need for screed,” Colbert said. “So she kept up her attack on Mueller and the FBI on what can only be described as her television show.”

He then played a clip of an enraged Pirro delivering her “opening monologue” on Sunday’s episode of “Justice with Judge Jeanine.”

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“There is a cleansing needed in our FBI and our Department of Justice,” Pirro ranted in that clip. “It needs to be cleansed of individuals who should not just be fired, but who need to be taken out in handcuffs.”

“The stench coming out of the DOJ and FBI is like that of a third-world country where money and boys and clubs decide elections,” she added.

“And that’s my open!” Pirro concluded, pivoting 180 degrees from her manifest rage. “Tell me what you think on my Facebook page, Twitter and Instagram, #JudgeJeanine!”

Colbert then performed his own version of Pirro’s screed.

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“Mueller and his corrupt junta are maggots gorging on the corpse of Lady Liberty, and freedom-loving patriots must drink their blood from the chalice of justice,” he said. “And that’s my opening, join the conversation on Insta, with #PushMuellerIntoTraffic!”

Watch below:

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How Teach for America evolved into an arm of the charter school movement

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When the Walton Family Foundation announced in 2013 that it was donating $20 million to Teach For America to recruit and train nearly 4,000 teachers for low-income schools, its press release did not reveal the unusual terms for the grant.

Documents obtained by ProPublica show that the foundation, a staunch supporter of school choice and Teach For America’s largest private funder, was paying $4,000 for every teacher placed in a traditional public school — and $6,000 for every one placed in a charter school. The two-year grant was directed at nine cities where charter schools were sprouting up, including New Orleans; Memphis, Tennessee; and Los Angeles.

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Commentary

Why do conservatives hate Oberlin College so much?

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When I was an undergraduate at Oberlin in the mid-Aughts, there was a student in my class year who was obsessed with 19th-century British Royal Naval culture. Every Friday evening, he would host a sing-along in a dorm lounge, for which he would bring xeroxes of historical sea shanty lyrics and pass them around so that we could sing along, waving our glasses of “grog.” This was a semi-established event — he had distributed flyers around campus advertising the weekly British Royal Naval sea-shanty singalong and grog-drinking event, which would extend late into the night. Though he was not a resident of the dorm where it took place, he was welcomed into the lounge by its members, and became a fixture of sorts.Like many well-endowed liberal arts schools in rural areas, Oberlin College functions as a sort of de facto social welfare state, and is designed to encourage and cultivate one’s passions, even if they are not strictly academic. Thus, after writing up a proposal for the student-run activities board, the same student, the British Royal Navy culture guy, was able to plan, organize and execute a ticketed Royal Naval Ball, held in the atrium of the science center. The event featured 20 dishes of authentic British era-appropriate cuisine, cooked by student chefs, several courses of wine and port, and a violinist present to play period-specific music. The whole affair culminated with a traditional, British partner line dance — its sole inauthenticity the fact that we didn’t pay attention to our dance partners’ genders the way the Brits would have.
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2020 Election

Here are 5 reasons why 2020’s down-ballot races could reshape America’s future

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The political press always tends to focus mostly on the marquee race for the White House but that's especially true this cycle, as Donald Trump runs for a second term. He demands attention and his antics enrage his opponents and delight his supporters in equal measure.

But national reporters risk missing the big picture by centering so much of their reporting at the top when many of the most important political battles in 2020 will take place further down the ballot.

Trump is catnip for reporters and their editors, but the dearth of coverage of downballot races didn't begin with his election. As the news media in general faces structural changes—with print circulation declining and much of their work moving into digital spaces that are more difficult to monetize--publishers have cut back on reporters assigned to the state and local government beat. Nevertheless, Trump has arguably worsened the trend by getting so much airtime— one estimate suggested that over the past four years, Trump has taken up, on average, 15 percent of the entire daily news cycle on the three leading cable networks, nearly three times what Obama did.

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