Quantcast
Connect with us

Trump soap or cologne — these MAGA holiday gifts are hilarious for your right-wing family member

Published

on

President Donald Trump has worked diligently to capitalize off of his campaign and presidency with extensively branded merch that MAGA fans flock to purchase.

This holiday season, the staples of a Trump shirt or a MAGA hat are typical stocking stuffers for the obsessed Trumpster, but there’s a whole world of Etsy-designed gifts and bad swag-crafts that are worth a chuckle.

Check them out below:

1. Trumpy Bear

ADVERTISEMENT

When the stuffed bear with a red tie and orange troll-hair hit the market, people wondered if it was a fake commercial created by Saturday Night Live. But, alas, it’s real. Commercials encourage men to buy one for their ladies to cuddle with, perhaps because the bear is less likely to sexually assault her.

A great way to spice up this gift, however, could be turning the Trumpy Bear into a NannyCam and slipping a hidden camera into it. Then you too can capture encounters with Russian prostitutes!

2. Ugly Christmas sweater with Trump on it

ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a holiday without an ugly Christmas sweater? And what could be more hilarious and humiliating then a sweater saying “Build that wall?”

3. Trump metal lunchbox — perfect for fruitcake!

ADVERTISEMENT

While there aren’t any metal MAGA tins that you can order fruitcake in, that doesn’t mean you can’t wrap up a piece of fruitcake and give it to your fruitcake family member in a Trump lunchbox.

4. The Trump Toaster.

ADVERTISEMENT

Trump might not yet be toast, but toast could be Trump. While your MAGA family member might love the idea of eating the president, you can enjoy smearing jam over his face every time you visit!

5. The musk of The Donald

ADVERTISEMENT

Sitting around all day eating McDonald’s, drinking Diet Coke and watching Fox News can probably make people a little smelly if they don’t clean up. Perhaps your right-wing family members can cover up their scent of laziness with the musk of Trump. Whether it’s Empire or Success, they can spritz like the pros. One Empire package deal comes with a black duffel bag, perfect for carrying large sums of cash for bribes!

6. “I really don’t care, do you” jacket:

ADVERTISEMENT

US First Lady Melania Trump departs Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland June 21, 2018 wearing a jacket emblazoned with the words “I really don’t care, do you?” following her surprise visit with child migrants on the US-Mexico border. (AFP / MANDEL NGAN)

If there’s one thing that sent Americans into a tailspin it was the jacket first lady Melania Trump wore while leaving Texas after surveying hurricane damage. “I really don’t care, do you?” was a message the Trump administration nailed at an expert level.

7. Trump Chia Pet

ADVERTISEMENT

A Trump pet that can grow hair faster than the president! Chia pet has done a presidential Chia statue for a few presidents now, but growing Trump hair has a special element of hilarity.

8. Trump soap

ADVERTISEMENT

Wash away your sins with the head of the president. Yup, that’s right, your right-wing relative can use Trump’s face to clean his pits and when you visit you can shove his nose wherever you need to get clean.

There’s even a Trump’s tiny hands soap option, which could be perfect for a conservative’s powder bath. Remember, having small hands doesn’t mean germs don’t matter.

ADVERTISEMENT

9. Trump Easy Button

Instead of a big red button saying “That was easy,” you could have a big red button saying Trump phrases in his actual voice! Sadly, there isn’t a “no collusion” phrase on the button. Perhaps next year there can be one.

ADVERTISEMENT

You can also purchase a button that just says “fake news,” which is perfect for the White House reporter in your life. Can you imagine a press room full of those buttons going off at random times?

10. The Putin Plug

He’s screwing over the United States, so why not make it pleasurable. For your Trump family members with active sex lives, you too can shove Putin “where the sun don’t shine.” Hutchtastic was working on a prototype for the Trump phallus, but doesn’t seem to be for sale yet. Hopefully it’ll be ready in time for the indictment parties.


Report typos and corrections to [email protected].
READ COMMENTS - JOIN THE DISCUSSION
Continue Reading

Breaking Banner

‘Washington is no longer functional’: Brian Williams admits he’s sad to report that ‘our government is broken’

Published

on

MSNBC anchor Brian Williams on Tuesday reported that America's federal government is broken.

"This was day 908 of the Trump Administration and while there is no joy in it, one way of summing up today is this: Our government’s broken, our politics are broken, Washington is no longer functional, and the cracks in our society are deepening," Williams reported.

"Much of this day was taken up by the discussion of racist statements by the president. Then tonight came the news that had so many people thinking back to when we were different, the death just tonight of retired Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens at the age of 99," he said.

Continue Reading

Breaking Banner

Trump ignored being condemned by Congress and instead praised Republicans on Twitter for defending his racism

Published

on

President Donald Trump celebrated on Tuesday night despite the House of Representatives having voted earlier in the day to condemn his racist statements.

By a final vote of 240 to 187, Congress voted for a resolution saying, "Trump’s racist comments have legitimized fear and hatred of new Americans and people of color.”

The resolution said Congress “strongly condemns President Donald Trump’s racist comments that have legitimized and increased fear and hatred of new Americans and people of color by saying that our fellow Americans who are immigrants, and those who may look to the President like immigrants, should “go back” to other countries, by referring to immigrants and asylum seekers as “invaders,” and by saying that Members of Congress who are immigrants (or those of our colleagues who are wrongly assumed to be immigrants) do not belong in Congress or in the United States of America.”

Continue Reading
 

Breaking Banner

The tortured madness of Donald Trump: It’s clear the president is out of his mind

Published

on

Where’s Shakespeare when we need him? Only the Bard of Avon could do literary justice to the tortured madness of Donald Trump, who fluctuates between petulant self-pity and weird self-praise.

His brags are especially weird because they usually involve achievements he hasn’t made. It’s as though his saying something makes it true — even though everyone except his most naive devotees can clearly see that he’s either hallucinating or lying. In June, for example, at a rally launching his reelection campaign, he retrumpeted an old campaign promise to “drain the swamp,” assuring the adoring crowd that “that’s exactly what we’re doing right now.”

Continue Reading
 
 
 

Copyright © 2019 Raw Story Media, Inc. PO Box 21050, Washington, D.C. 20009 | Masthead | Privacy Policy | For corrections or concerns, please email [email protected]

close-image