Quantcast
Connect with us

Pelosi shows how to perfectly own a narcissist like Trump: therapist

Published

on

Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), photo via her office's Flickr account.

Not everyone has the opportunity to work with President Donald Trump. But therapist Stephanie Sarkis PhD
observes that many people have to deal with gas-lighters, bullies and other toxic people in their workplace.

Sarkis looks to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s strategy in dealing with Trump and draws lessons that can be applied to the US workplace.

“Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has to work with a gaslighter/narcissist – and she gave an excellent example of how to respond to such a difficult person in the workplace,” she writes in Forbes. “Whatever political leanings you have, you most likely have a gaslighter/narcissist in your workplace. Learn from Pelosi’s example on how to handle communicating with one.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Sarkis points out that when President Donald Trump refused to fund the government over money for his wall, Pelosi responded by canceling his state of the union speech. And she did it in a letter that perfectly shows how to deal with difficult people.

First, Sarkis commends her medium of communication. “Pelosi didn’t tweet a comment – she wrote a letter and signed it,” she says.

“This has more weight to it than a quick missive on social media. When working with a gaslighter/narcissist, document thoroughly, including writing official letters, rather than quick memos. This conveys the seriousness of the matter to the gaslighter/narcissist.”

A common personality trait for a gaslighter is the failure to accept responsibility. This has been evident in Trump’s actions, such as by blaming the shutdown on Democrats.

“Gaslighters/narcissists rarely take responsibility for their actions. But you can mention how their behaviors got you to this point – even without specifically naming it,” Sarkis says.

ADVERTISEMENT

Instead of resorting to name calling, as the president often does, Pelosi expressed exactly what happened, without getting overly emotional. “Pelosi stuck to facts. She did not state how she felt about Trump, or the shutdown. The only sentence in the letter that could be somewhat construed as emotion was “Sadly, given the security concerns…” Although “sadly” appears as appropriate professional writing in this context rather than an emotionally-charged word.”

“Leave emotions out as much as possible,” she concludes.

She also emphasizes setting clear boundaries and sticking to them.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Pelosi wrote that she would work with Trump to find “another suitable date” for the State of the Union address, or “consider delivering your State of the Union address in writing to the Congress on January 29th.” Pelosi gave Trump two clear options,” Sarkis says.

“When working with a gaslighter/narcissist, take control of the situation by giving him a “forced choice” – option A or option B. The gaslighter/narcissist will usually come up with their own option that suits them, but is to the detriment of everyone else. Repeat option A or B again. Repeat them again if the gaslighter tries to obfuscate. (This is called the “broken record” technique.) These are the options. Period. There is no wiggle room.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Sarkis brings up a few other strategies, such as keeping communications brief, grounding your argument in history, and concluding with a clear call to action. In the end, Pelosi is likely to prevail, Sarkis notes. “Gaslighters/narcissists usually undermine themselves in the end through their own actions.”


Report typos and corrections to: [email protected].
READ COMMENTS - JOIN THE DISCUSSION
Continue Reading

Breaking Banner

Pro-Trump conservatives ‘trading short-term political gain for long-term ruin’: columnist

Published

on

Writing in The Atlantic this Wednesday, Rachel Shelden contends that Republicans are finding themselves "boxed in" after enabling President Donald Trump's conspiracy theories about mass voter fraud in the 2020 election.

According to Shelden, the current situation Republicans face is similar to the aftermath of the 1860 election.

Continue Reading

Breaking Banner

‘NO WAY!’ Trump starts off Thanksgiving by whining about his election loss

Published

on

President Donald Trump started off Thanksgiving by whining about his election loss to Joe Biden.

Biden earned a record 80 million votes, with ballots still being counted, and the president reacted to that news Thursday by insisting his loss was impossible.

"Just saw the vote tabulations," Trump tweeted. "There is NO WAY Biden got 80,000,000 votes!!! This was a 100% RIGGED ELECTION."

Twitter immediately slapped a disclaimer on his unfounded claims, which have been rejected over and over by courts and were disputed by the Homeland Security official who oversaw election security -- until the president fired him.

Continue Reading
 

Breaking Banner

Trump will soon be a ‘dumpy 74-year-old wheeling around the golf course’ while awaiting ‘his next cheeseburger’: columnist

Published

on

Daily Beast columnist Margaret Carlson on Thursday published a brutal opinion piece in which she danced on President Donald Trump's political grave and relished the thought of his fading into irrelevancy.

In her column, Carlson acknowledged many liberals' fears that Trump will never leave the national spotlight, but she said the soon-to-be-ex-president is more likely to be treated more like a washed-up celebrity that a political icon.

"To those worried we will never rid ourselves of Trump, watch as he shrinks before our very eyes in a Washington minute from leader of the free world to a broken-down real estate developer up to his ears in debt," she wrote. "On Monday, Trump was just another dumpy 74-year-old man wheeling around the golf course in a motorized cart wondering how long it would be until his next cheeseburger."

Continue Reading