Late-night host John Oliver unleashed on the unbelievable finds in special counsel Robert Mueller’s report released this week.
Oliver recalled he’d been calling it “Stupid Watergate” because the Trump scandal was like “if Nixon had been kicked in the head by a billy goat and that billy goat was chief of staff.”
“Some of the details in this report were incredible,” Oliver said, noting the president admitted “I’m f*cked” after Mueller was appointed as special counsel to investigate him.
Oliver went on to give a full take of what that moment looked like in the Oval Office: Ivanka Trump was likely playing fetch with Don Jr. Her husband, Jared Kushner, was probably standing motionless in front of a blank wall. Eric Trump’s tongue was likely stuck to a flag pole. Rince Priebus was likely walking around with his head stuck in a honey jar. Steve Bannon was eating a bowl of used syringes while Stephen Miller was gleefully pulling the legs off of a spider.
And at the exact moment when Trump proclaimed “I’m f*cked” with “tears rolling down his cheeks” a “pigeon flew into the room and sh*t in his mouth.”
The “Last Week Tonight” host also highlighted the unbelievable way in which the Trump campaign and his allies were so incompetent that they were ultimately shielded from criminal liability. One of his favorite moments was that former fixer Michael Cohen still, to this day, believes one of the Russian allies was an Olympic bodybuilder.
Oliver loved that these key Trump aides somehow managed to ignore every demand by the president to fire the special counsel. Corey Lewandowski passed it off to an aide, and that aide ignored it as well. Oliver said that a groundskeeper likely also hand it over to a housekeeper who wrote a note and attached it on a Rumba.
When it came to Attorney General Bill Barr’s lies in his summary, Oliver first called out the claim that a sincere belief motivated Trump.
“Donald Trump has never been motivated by a sincere belief,” Oliver claimed.
“All of this is still very depressing,’ Oliver explained. Meanwhile, the president’s team has been taking “an unearned victory lap.”
He played a clip of Kellyanne Conway calling any allegation against Trump “an insult.” Oliver pointed out that a real insult would be saying that Conway was actually a skin-suit of a dead corpse filled with 300 rats who know how to lie.
Ultimately, Oliver pointed out that so much was found in the Mueller report that implicates the Russians, Trump and “dishonest hack” Bill Barr. Yet, for reasons passing in understanding, the White House thinks they’ve all be exonerated.
Watch Oliver’s unique take below:
WATCH: Trump apologist goes down in flames when he claims Democrats don’t get attacked like Trump
Former White House advisor Matt Mowers went down in flames trying to claim Democrats call everyone a racist when they don't agree with them. He had to go back 15 years to find an example, but still never fully explained what the example was.
In a panel discussion with MSNBC's Kasie Hunt, Mowers employed the "what about" strategy, spinning the idea that Trump's racist remarks were justified because Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) used an anti-Semitic trope. To be fair, Omar apologized and met with community leaders and officials to better understand anti-Semitism. Trump can't even admit when he did something wrong, much less racist.
Congress should ask Mueller these specific questions about Trump’s involvement with Russia: Conservative columnist
Conservative Never-Trump columnist Jennifer Rubin outlined the essential questions that Democrats should ask special counsel Robert Mueller in an op-ed for the Washington Post.
"Rather than engage in the normal scattershot questioning punctuated by speechifying, the House Judiciary Committee should assign its able attorney Norman Eisen to conduct the questioning," proposed Rubin. "Members could then follow up with additional questions.'
One question she proposed asking: "Mr. Mueller, the attorney general said you did not find 'collusion.' However, you did not look for collusion. Please explain what you looked for and how that differs from [Attorney General William] Barr’s assertion that you essentially cleared President Trump of collusion?"
Trump plays ‘small ball’ because he can’t get a big hit on anything: Democratic Congressman
Rep. Anthony Brown (D-MD) accused the president of being unable to hit a home run on any of the promises he made in 2016. Instead, he's playing "small ball."
Using a baseball metaphor, Brown explained that President Donald Trump isn't exactly the heavy hitter he wants to pretend he is.
"I think the president is playing political small-ball. He's a small-baller on the political field," said Brown in an MSNBC interview. "What I mean by that is he gets no big wins, home runs or base hits when it comes to health care and infrastructure or any other important policy matters that the American people have focused on."