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Trump mocked by Washington Post columnist for bizarre doctor visit: He’s healthy as ‘half a horse’

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On Monday, Washington Post columnist Alexandra Petri mocked the White House for suggesting President Donald Trump’s sudden visit to Walter Reed Hospital over the weekend was part of his routine physical.

“The good news is that everything is completely normal,” wrote Petri. “The president is just doing that unremarkable thing we know and love to do, where we have a free afternoon and decide, suddenly, on a whim, to do some but not all of our annual physical, just to get a jump on it. That classic thing, an option we have, and furthermore have always known we had. As he tweeted, ‘Also began phase one of my yearly physical. Everything very good (great!). Will complete next year.’ Very good (great!).”

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“Just to be certain that this was definitely a thing, I telephoned my primary care physician today and asked whether I could come in and do half my physical now and half later at a time of my own choosing, and amazingly she did not immediately clear a path for me, and furthermore I think my relationship with her receptionist may be permanently strained,” added Petri. “‘Could you see me sooner if I just did half of it and then the other half later?’ I asked, and the scheduler patiently began to explain that unfortunately this was not and had never been how physicals worked.”

“President Trump is healthy as a horse, or half a horse, a centaur,” continued Petri. “He is fit as a fiddle, a fiddle that has been attending regular SoulCycle classes. He is probably exactly as fit as a Stradivarius — not to say that he is very old and could shatter at any second, but that he is very valuable and was constructed by a master.”

“Although when Hillary Clinton coughed, ever, it meant that she was at the brink of death (this is medical science; her humors were out of balance, and her womb was roving through her body), Donald Trump’s sudden decision to just go to visit a doctor and do half his annual physical is not cause for concern. His word is good,” said Petri. “He has as many white blood cells as he had people at his inauguration, and his blood pressure is as low as his poll numbers aren’t. He would never lie to us about something important. His tax returns are actually just a picture of his pancreas — an organ so beautiful that if he ever let us see it, the whole nation would lose its mind.”

“I am only half concerned,” she concluded.

You can read more here.

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WATCH: Native American protesters ‘reclaimed the road’ to Donald Trump’s speech at Mount Rushmore

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Police in camouflage fatigues and riot faced off against protesters in South Dakota on Friday evening.

"More than 100 protesters gathered on a highway leading to Mount Rushmore on Friday ahead of President Donald Trump’s speech at the monument," Indian Country Today reports. "Native women in ribbon skirts created a line across the highway, behind them members of NDN Collective, a nonprofit Native advocacy organization, parked white vans across the road."

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2020 Election

‘Trump surrenders to the virus’: White House ripped for new ‘learn to live with it’ message on COVID-19

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President Donald Trump's administration was harshly criticized on Friday after a new report from NBC News.

"After several months of mixed messages on the coronavirus pandemic, the White House is settling on a new one: Learn to live with it," reported Carol Lee, Kristen Welker and Monica Alba.

"Administration officials are planning to intensify what they hope is a sharper, and less conflicting, message of the pandemic next week, according to senior administration officials, after struggling to offer clear directives amid a crippling surge in cases across the country. On Thursday, the United States reported more than 55,000 new cases of coronavirus and infection rates were hitting new records in multiple states," NBC News reported.

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Will Michael Cohen be sent back to prison after being photographed at fancy NYC restaurant?

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Former Donald Trump attorney Michael Cohen, who is currently furloughed from his prison sentence due to the COVID-19 pandemic, was reportedly photographed at a fancy restaurant in Manhattan.

"Michael Cohen could soon be back to chowing down in a prison cafeteria," the NY Post reported Friday. "The recently sprung jailbird was caught by The Post dining out on Manhattan’s Upper East Side — and the meal may cost him his freedom, legal experts said Friday."

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